Port De Soller Mallorca

Port De Soller Mallorca

Monday, 3 December 2012

still in the Doldrums, but.......

Still in the doldrums, but just to keep you (Jules in particular) ticking over, here's another of those rubbish stories for you......

A bloke's wife goes missing while diving off the West Australian Coast .

He reports the event, searches fruitlessly and spends a terrible night
wondering what could have happened to her.

Next morning there's a knock at the door and he is confronted by a
couple of policemen, the old Sarge and a younger Constable.

The Sarge says, 'Mate, we have some news for you, unfortunately some
really bad news, but, some good news, and maybe some more good news.

'Well,' says the bloke, 'I guess I'd better have the bad news first'

The Sarge says, 'I'm really sorry mate, but your wife is dead. Young
Bill here found her lying at about five fathoms in a little cleft in
the reef. He got a line around her and we pulled her up, but she was

The bloke is naturally distressed to hear of this and has a bit of a

But after a few minutes he pulls himself together and asks what the
good news is.

The Sarge says, 'Well when we got your wife up there were quite a few
really good sized lobsters and a swag of nice crabs attached to her, so
we've brought you your share.'

He hands the bloke a bag with a couple of nice lobsters and four or
five crabs in it.

'Geez thanks. They're bloody beauties. I guess it's an ill wind and all
that... So what's the other possible good news?

'Well', the Sarge says, 'If you fancy a quick trip, me and young Bill
here get off duty at around 11 o'clock and we're gonna shoot over there
and pull her up again’


  1. Good think Julia wasn't sharing her wine with me. I would have spewed it all the screen!

  2. Darling Jaye, I think it may have been a good idea to share the wine with Julia, cos your comment was hilariously and grammatically so incorrect and from the obsessanator (btw, my IPad recognises that now and suggests it when typing, I wonder if you will be credited in the lexicon of time for bringing it in to everyday use?) too - Thanks for making me laugh over my coffee and toast

  3. Tom, you're in the doldrums? Oh no! I hope you feel better! Sending you happy vibes, a virtual martini, and some Britney Spears music!


  4. I did spew my wine all over the screen. Still drinking, see? No, not really - coffee this morning. Nasty hangover. Thanks, Tom. Love it! Feel better.

  5. Wow! That's really wrong Tom. But it's also funny

  6. This is so awful it's wonderful.
    Only on your site would I find this, and I love it.
    Remember: doldrums come, and doldrums go, but bad jokes go on and on and on...

  7. That's just dreadful... LOVED it! Ha!
    Hope you are feeling better soon Tom - don't let the bastards get you down XO


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