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Port De Soller Mallorca
Sunset
Friday 30 August 2013
Isle of Wight Literary Festival
Tuesday 20 August 2013
Police work must be entertaining as well as dangerous.
Don't know where this came from but thought it worth a share ..........
+telegraph.jpg) |
| (c) Telegraph |
Recently, a female police officer arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white
male, fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of the night. The next day, at
the Gwinnett courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and
lascivious behaviour, public indecency and public intoxication.
The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home
from a drinking session when he decided to stop, 'You know how a pumpkin is soft
and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I thought
there wasn't anyone around' he stated.
Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out
a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and
proceeded to satisfy his pressing need. 'Guess I was really into it, you know?'
he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process of doing the deed,
Lawrence failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his
audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached him.
'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' said Officer Taylor. 'I walked
up to Lawrence and he's just banging away at this pumpkin.' Officer Taylor went
on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence ... 'I said: 'Excuse
me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin??'
He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me
straight in the face and said: 'A pumpkin? Shit ... Is it midnight already?'
The Local Post wrote an article describing this as 'Best come-back line
ever.'
male, fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of the night. The next day, at
the Gwinnett courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and
lascivious behaviour, public indecency and public intoxication.
The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home
from a drinking session when he decided to stop, 'You know how a pumpkin is soft
and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I thought
there wasn't anyone around' he stated.
Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out
a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and
proceeded to satisfy his pressing need. 'Guess I was really into it, you know?'
he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process of doing the deed,
Lawrence failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his
audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached him.
'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' said Officer Taylor. 'I walked
up to Lawrence and he's just banging away at this pumpkin.' Officer Taylor went
on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence ... 'I said: 'Excuse
me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin??'
He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me
straight in the face and said: 'A pumpkin? Shit ... Is it midnight already?'
The Local Post wrote an article describing this as 'Best come-back line
ever.'
Monday 19 August 2013
Our Great Days Out Part 4
Told Jennifer and the girls that I would be home by lunchtime and that we would pack up a picnic and head out, didn't know where we would end up as hadn't planned that far ahead. When Neil my local postman was delivering the mail I told him I was out in the PM and he suggested that I try, King George's Park in Brentwood, with all these facilities and it was lovely and clean with 3 hrs free parking too;
It is only twenty minutes away and having looked it up on the internet it sounded ideal for the two older girls and for little Lacey Mae and it was just a perfect afternoon.
Dug out the picnic basket, filled it with sausage rolls that Jennifer had made that morning, a couple of rounds of sandwiches, crisps, cheese (forgot the olives for Shannon and me) fresh fruit and drinks and of course the inevitable chocolate bars, which we didn't get around to eating! and you'll be pleased to know I didn't take that many photographs!
- formal gardens exquisite in spring -time and beautiful all year round
- children's play area
- paddling pools
- a unique garden for the blind with many flowering and non-flowering plants which appeal to senses other than sight
- playing fields for football, cricket, rugby and kick about areas
- bowling greens with 12 rinks
- crazy golf
- skate park
- cafe
It is only twenty minutes away and having looked it up on the internet it sounded ideal for the two older girls and for little Lacey Mae and it was just a perfect afternoon.
Dug out the picnic basket, filled it with sausage rolls that Jennifer had made that morning, a couple of rounds of sandwiches, crisps, cheese (forgot the olives for Shannon and me) fresh fruit and drinks and of course the inevitable chocolate bars, which we didn't get around to eating! and you'll be pleased to know I didn't take that many photographs!
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| Picnic Time |
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| Me too! |
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| Frisbee aka A Picnic plate or as the big girls call it Lacey Mae, Fetch........ ! |
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| And she does fetch it too, bless her |
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| No problem getting her on, but try getting her off...... |
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| I kid you not, tunnel is about 3 ft in length crawled through, turned, crawled back 30 solid minutes, sheesh |
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| Dragons, again |
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| Purple lips from an ice lolly |
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| Don't let me fall of the line granddad! |
Sunday 18 August 2013
Our Great Days Out Part 3
So, we have had Jennifer and the kids staying with us for the week and have had some fun with them starting with Mollie and Lacey taking me for a walk and doing some berry picking, it was fun.... Shannon decided she wanted to stay indoors on this one...
Back to Southend with Jennifer, Steve , Mollie 10, Shannon 7, and Lacey Mae 2 and a bit. Unfortunately Grandma had to work so we dropped her off and headed off.
Like Holly and Charlie in Part 2, Mollie nd Shannon made the cut for the 'big' rides but, and Mollie forgive me, you are a wimp and your 7 year old sister and cousins put you to shame but then you were always a more delicate wee flower and we love you dearly, wimpy or not xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Anyway, who cares they had a great time and so did Lacey Mae and Grandad hitting every kiddies ride and whooping it up no end and getting some funny looks and again who cares, with our exuberant and loud screams of delight and laughter as we gently meandered around the various wee rides from flying pink elephants to viking longboats to jungle adventure trains to the green dragons and the old wild west ghost train, loved every minute of it and it did take the strain from my weary legs and feet......
Adventure Island
Like Charlie and Holly, time for a break in the arcade room and Shannon found the pirate shoot em up like Charlie, dad Steve gave here a wee hand to get her eye in but it was only for a few seconds and then she was off like her cousin mowing down the pirates and assorted beasties and sinking ships and at the end of it her final score gave her the 11th highest scorer on the leader board.... I think Charlie will want to get back on there to beat that score but for now girls 1 vs boys 0......
Time for a break on the shingle beach and a bit of paddling and a soaking but it got worse when they moved back to the promenade and the water jets! Lacey Mae is still not to impressed about getting wet though!
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| Picking and eating, oh joy! |
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| Blackberries |
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| A natural seat |
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| Time for a break |
Like Holly and Charlie in Part 2, Mollie nd Shannon made the cut for the 'big' rides but, and Mollie forgive me, you are a wimp and your 7 year old sister and cousins put you to shame but then you were always a more delicate wee flower and we love you dearly, wimpy or not xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Anyway, who cares they had a great time and so did Lacey Mae and Grandad hitting every kiddies ride and whooping it up no end and getting some funny looks and again who cares, with our exuberant and loud screams of delight and laughter as we gently meandered around the various wee rides from flying pink elephants to viking longboats to jungle adventure trains to the green dragons and the old wild west ghost train, loved every minute of it and it did take the strain from my weary legs and feet......
Adventure Island
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| Shannon and Mummy |
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| Lacey Mae |
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| On the Dragon Boats |
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| Shannon relaxed on the 1st fast ride, Mollie not so much! |
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| Mollie decided not too.. |
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| On the Jungle train |
Like Charlie and Holly, time for a break in the arcade room and Shannon found the pirate shoot em up like Charlie, dad Steve gave here a wee hand to get her eye in but it was only for a few seconds and then she was off like her cousin mowing down the pirates and assorted beasties and sinking ships and at the end of it her final score gave her the 11th highest scorer on the leader board.... I think Charlie will want to get back on there to beat that score but for now girls 1 vs boys 0......
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| Mummy nicking Shannon's candy lollipop |
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| just resting my eyes, honest |
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| Yes Granddad, I know I am beautiful |
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| Me and my three babes |
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| that's close enough dad! |
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| Mollie! it just shot up me knickers... screams Shannon |
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| Ok, I'll give that a try too then! |
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| the drive home |
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| Another knackered wee soul |
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| Mumm's tub of candy floss |
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| A doughnut and an ice cream with flake |
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