Can you do anything, if you try hard enough?

Ah, but there is always the exception to the rule that you can do anything Marylin My Sweet....... it's me off course.

That was my opening response to another wonderful letter from Marylin Shepherd Warner on her weekly letter to her Mom who has dementia and Marylin's letters are her way of recording the many wonderful things that her Mom taught her growing up and that she herself has passed on to her own children and grandchildren.  you can read her latest letter here:

Things I Want to Tell My Mother

I then went on to explain, that for some of us, learning, a particular skill set is; really beyond our ken ........

(c) www.millsycartoons.co.uk

Another example of that was Friday. For the first time ever Ishbel and I decided that we would put some Christmas lights out in the garden so I asked my electrical contractor at work to put a socket out there.  He did. Proper double sockets with safety cut out switches and in an all weather box, just the job.  I duly plugged the lights in closed the lid and broke it .... Now don't think he put in a cheap box, no, not at all, best on the market.  It is just that I am so cack handed at anything DIY that in almost 38 years Ishbel has learned not to get me to do anything as I am so useless at it.

Hanging paper, not a chance. Did it once when Ishbel was out. she came in walked in to the kitchen and said, 'very nice dear, but do you know what would have been better, if you'd managed to hang all the strips running in the same direction!' Oops, and of course as it usually tuns out too, I always seem to get the paste mixture wrong and you will be sitting there one day in the not to distant future when a strip or two will start to peel in a corner and then gravity kicks in and it rolls down the wall.... Eyes are raised, and I just shrug 'what did you expect'.

Same with rawl plugs in walls, I can never seem to match the hole to the plug or the screw for that matter and whatever I hang normally falls off quite soon after been hung. If visiting, check to see who hung what above the chair you choose before sitting, it may be a life saver ......

(c) www.millsycartoons.co.uk

Taking the oven door off to clean it properly. I had watched the engineer do this recently as he took it off to carry out a repair.  Easy peasy. Lift the catch on both hinges. grab the handle pull out and up in one fluid motion and off it comes, what could be easier. To put back on, line up the hinges slide in and gently push down.  hah.... £89 call out charge to replace one bent and useless hinge is what happened next ...... I could go on and there are plenty of these stories but even the grand kids cover their eyes in fear of what is going to happen if they see me with as much as a screw driver in my hand let alone a power tool

Mind you I could jump out of airplanes, shoot almost any weapon on the planet in my day, blow up things, pot hole, canoe, sail, map read, but then again I was shot, stabbed, crippled almost drowned in the English Channel and on the Danube and down a flooding pot hole system, had a touch of hypothermia, been in a couple of crashes (not involving other vehicles) Rock climb, abseil, you name it I've probably done it, I even managed to sew buttons on my uniforms in the army and darn a sock or two in my time but nothing more basic than that

So, pretty useless, BUT I am a survivor and that's my overriding goal at the moment, to survive so that I can keep annoying Ishbel, the Kids and the Grandkids for years to come and to keep reading your wonderful and inspiring weekly letter to your beautifully gifted and talented mother ......


oops.... Just been reminded about two crashes involving vehicles, one into the back of a UPS truck and one when Ishbel was in the car too and was pretty shaken up but no physical damage. memory problems too you see

Xxxx

Don't Mess with an Old Lady!

Don't know where this came from, but it's a keeper.......

Two businessmen were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new shop...

As yet, the shop wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up.

One said to the other, "I bet any minute now some pensioner is going to walk by, put their face to the window, and ask what we're selling."

No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough,

a curious old woman walked to the window, had a peek, and in a soft voice asked :

"What are you selling here?"

One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling arseholes."

Without skipping a beat, the old dear said, "Must be doing well . . . only two left."

Lesson: Don’t mess with the wisdom of the old .   .  .  .  .  .  .  we are not yet brain dead!!

Police work must be entertaining as well as dangerous.

Don't know where this came from but thought it worth a share ..........

(c) Telegraph

Recently, a female police officer arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white
male, fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of the night. The next day, at
the Gwinnett  courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and
lascivious behaviour, public indecency and public intoxication.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home
from a drinking session when he decided to stop, 'You know how a pumpkin is soft
and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I thought
there wasn't anyone around' he stated.

Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out
a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and
proceeded to satisfy his pressing need. 'Guess I was really into it, you know?'
he commented with evident embarrassment.  In the process of doing the deed,
Lawrence failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his
audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached him.

'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' said Officer Taylor. 'I walked
up to Lawrence and he's just banging away at this pumpkin.'  Officer Taylor went
on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence ...  'I said: 'Excuse
me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin??'

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me
straight in the face and said: 'A pumpkin? Shit ... Is it midnight already?'

The Local Post wrote an article describing this as 'Best come-back line
ever.'

You've gotta love our Canadian Cousins for these gems!

You have to admire the simplicity of the signs in some places,........

And if you want your man to wash his hands when he goes to the bathroom ..............

To lighten your day, or to scare you!

It's been a while, but got this by email today and thought you might like it.  They made me smile but for some reason the last one made me laugh out loud! Especially for my teacher friends, but I think everyone will enjoy this one, and it does say a lot about the youth of today. The following questions were set in last year’s examination These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)............and they WILL breed. (scary) Q. Name the four seasons A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists Q. How is dew formed A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire Q. What causes the tides in the oceans A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election Q. What are steroids  A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now , there is little hope) Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true) Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes A. Premature death Q. What is artificial insemination A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow  Q. How can you delay milk turning sour A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant) Q. What is the fibula? A. A small lie Q. What does 'varicose' mean?  A. Nearby   Q. What is the most common form of birth control  A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium (That would work) Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section' A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome Q. What is a seizure? A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit) Q. What is a terminal illness  A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable) Q. What does the word 'benign' mean? A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant)

Our Boss!

Got these postcards delivered in the post today from Sharon one of my receptionists, I have no idea what she is trying to say about me ?

Pondering!

(c) wikipedia

RETIRED


As I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world, I rapidly realized that I don't really give a rat's ring. It's the tortoise life for me soon!






1. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.
2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, and still it is fat.
3. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years.
4. A tortoise doesn't run and does nothing, yet it lives for 450 years.
And you tell me to exercise? I don't think so. I'm retired. Go around me.

Some Senior Thoughts

God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered: 

1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and all-bran.
3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.
4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
5. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
6. If all is not lost, where is it?
7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
8. Some days, you're the pigeon; some days you're the statue.
9. I wish the buck stopped here; I could use a few.
10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
13. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.
14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.
15. When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone want to play chess?
16. Its not hard to meet expenses . . . they're everywhere.
17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter... I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm hereafter.
19. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
20. I'M UNABLE TO REMEMBER WHETHER I'VE SENT YOU THIS BEFORE...

Via Tony Watkins

Commemorating 2012!

To commemorate the release of the topless photos of Kate Middleton,

Royal Doulton will be releasing a Collector's Edition of two small jugs

-----------------------

7 wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40

------------------------

A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt
Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Roche...
---------------------

Just A Reminder to those who stole Electrical Goods in Last Years Riots....
Your One Year Manufacturers Warranty Runs Out Soon

-------------------

"ITS A BOY" I shouted "A BOY, I DON'T BELIEVE IT, ITS A BOY" and with tears streaming down my face

I swore I'd never visit another Thai brothel!!!

-------------------------

2 Indian junkies accidental snorted curry powder instead of cocaine. They’re both in hospital... one's in a korma…

The other's got a dodgy tikka!

----------------------

Author Unknown, but thanks 

It's Christmas, enjoy!

Pre-Christmas health tips for busy people

Before Christmas is a good time to take stock of our lifestyle.
These 9 ½ questions will ensure that will make the right health choices (From a Japanese Doctor who appears an expert).


Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong
life. Is this true?

A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste
on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make
you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving
faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.


Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Fruit very good. Brandy distilled
wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more
of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Grain good too. Bottom
up!


Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one.
If you have two body, your ratio two to one.



Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
exercise program?

A: Can't think of one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain...good!


Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting
more vegetable be bad?


Q : Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around
the middle?

A: Oh no! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only
be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.


Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best
feel-good food around!


Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.


Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!


Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have
had about food and diets.


And remember:

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to
skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other -
body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what
a ride!!"


AND.....


For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on
nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those
conflicting nutritional studies.


1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks
than Brits.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks
than Brits.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart
attacks than Brits.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart
attacks than Brits.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and
fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.


CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is
apparently what kills you



Merry Christmas

*******************************************************

50 shades of ...

For Julia, Penny and Jaye as they 'loved the original so much..........


My missus bought a paperback
In Asda/Walmart Saturday,
I had a look inside the bag
T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey"
Well I just left her to it, see,
And went off up to bed
An hour later, she appeared
Oh the sight filled me with dread!
In her hand she held a rope
The other, held a whip!
She brandished them around a bit
And then began to strip?.
Well forty years or so, ago,
I might have had a peek
But Doris hasn't weathered well
She's sixty-eight next week.
Watching Doris bump and grind
Couldn't be much grimmer?
And things progressed from bad to worse
She toppled off her Zimmer !
She struggled back up to her feet,
A good half hour later,
Put her teeth back in and said
That I must dominate her !!!
Now if you knew our Doris, see,
You'd know just why I cringed.
I'd been two months in traction, cos
My hips and knees unhinged.
She stood there nude. All naked, like,
Bent forward quite a bit?. and
Jumping back in fright I went
And stood on her left tit.
Doris screamed, her teeth shot out,
My word. What HAD I done ?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out
"Step on the OTHER one !!!"
Well reader, I can tell no more
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say, my dark brown hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey.
Black and blue, battered too,
With wanton, wild perversion,
We decided that a night of sin
Was scarce worth such exertion.
Thank Heavens she has binned the book
And peace reigns, like before.
She's head to toe in winceyette
And back to back, we snore???...

courtesy of Tony Watkins

still in the Doldrums, but.......

Still in the doldrums, but just to keep you (Jules in particular) ticking over, here's another of those rubbish stories for you......


A bloke's wife goes missing while diving off the West Australian Coast .


He reports the event, searches fruitlessly and spends a terrible night
wondering what could have happened to her.


Next morning there's a knock at the door and he is confronted by a
couple of policemen, the old Sarge and a younger Constable.


The Sarge says, 'Mate, we have some news for you, unfortunately some
really bad news, but, some good news, and maybe some more good news.


'Well,' says the bloke, 'I guess I'd better have the bad news first'


The Sarge says, 'I'm really sorry mate, but your wife is dead. Young
Bill here found her lying at about five fathoms in a little cleft in
the reef. He got a line around her and we pulled her up, but she was
dead.'


The bloke is naturally distressed to hear of this and has a bit of a
turn.


But after a few minutes he pulls himself together and asks what the
good news is.


The Sarge says, 'Well when we got your wife up there were quite a few
really good sized lobsters and a swag of nice crabs attached to her, so
we've brought you your share.'


He hands the bloke a bag with a couple of nice lobsters and four or
five crabs in it.


'Geez thanks. They're bloody beauties. I guess it's an ill wind and all
that... So what's the other possible good news?



'Well', the Sarge says, 'If you fancy a quick trip, me and young Bill
here get off duty at around 11 o'clock and we're gonna shoot over there
and pull her up again’

It's been a While

It's been a while since I posted anything or even joined in with conversations on Twitter - just going through a bit of a shit time with work and really by the time I get out of there each day, just been vegetating and not even switching the tech on in the evenings. Anyway some one sent me this, which made me not only smile but laugh out loud, so I thought you guys might like it too......


A father asked his 10-year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees.

'I don't want to know,' the child said, bursting into tears. 'Promise me you won't tell me.'

Confused, the father asked what was wrong.

The boy sobbed, 'When I was six, I got the 'There's no Easter Bunny' speech...
At seven, I got the 'There's no Tooth Fairy' speech.
When I was eight, you hit me with the 'There's no Santa' speech.

If you're going to tell me that grown-ups don't really shag, I'll have nothing left to live for!'

No More Freedom

I was sitting watching the news on BBC 1 last night (Friday 19th October) and there was an article on the SNP  and of course Independence and Scotland's continued affiliation to NATO, should they indeed win their 'freedom' from the remainder of the the United Kingdom and Northern Ireland?

The SNP are a few years older than NATO, the former born in 1934, the latter born out of the ashes of WWII in 1949 and I think I am correct in thinking that the SNP have been totally opposed to them since their inception.  The only reason I mention that little fact is that now with the referendum set to go ahead in a couple of years,  yesterday, the SNP conference voted to elect to remain a member of that august body, but hopefully (for them - me I'm indifferent to the whole question) without allowing the nuclear deterrent to also remain within Scottish borders!  I just mention it to highlight the fact that once again another political party has without one iota of embarrassment discarded one of the main planks of its policy with no shame and as they have never been able to get a majority in the opinion polls over 39% (I think it was sitting at that at the beginning of this year, but it's now down around 30% at the moment) they are also informing Scottish voters that every single one of them will get a £500 cash payment for voting yes to FREEDOM from the ENGLISH, WELSH and NORTHERN IRISH! Incidentally, apparently there is also a poll out at the moment which says that £500 is precisely the amount it would take for Scottish individuals to be given, and accept, as the Judas Silver, to break up the Union!

So, anyway as I watched and listened to the article they started to do a segment of snap interviews after the vote was taken and agreed and a really old chap attending the conference was asked his opinion.

I have no idea what his response was as I suddenly started thinking about an other article I had read on line from The Telegraph  about a debate on the freedom of speech, you can read the whole article here  , but here are a couple of snippets;

The Blackadder and Mr Bean star attacked the "creeping culture of censoriousness" which has resulted in the arrest of a Christian preacher, a critic of Scientology and even a student making a joke, it was reported.

 a 16-year-old boy being held for peacefully holding a placard reading "Scientology is a dangerous cult", and gay rights campaigners from the group Outrage! detained when they protested against Islamic fundamentalist group Hizb ut-Tahrir over its stance on gays, Jews and women.

We are told that Section 5, of the Public Order Act, which outlaws threatening, abusive and insulting words or behaviour is having a "chilling effect on free expression and free protest". And, clearly from these instances above, so it seems.  Every day we hear stories of people being arrested, charged, fined and imprisoned for saying things that someone sitting in an office or indeed someone sitting anywhere can hear someone say something first or second hand, phone their local police office, complain and sooner than you can say or think 'all politicians are tossers', you'll have a copper on you door.

Andrew Mitchell MP, of Plebgate fame who has just resigned, why? Because he allegedly called a cop on a gate a pleb! For Christ's sake, he probably is.  It's a word for the love of God, other deity's are available.....

In the words of Mr Atkinson: "The clear problem of the outlawing of insult is that too many things can be interpreted as such. Criticism, ridicule, sarcasm, merely stating an alternative point of view to the orthodoxy, can be interpreted as insult."

and all of the above because as I was sitting watching the report and seeing the aforementioned really, really old chap I was thinking, "What the hell is he doing in the SNP looking for independence, for gods sake,surely he won't be around long enough to see it" , as you do, but, then I thought can I actually put that out there on the Twitter-verse or will the police turn up on my doorstep to charge me for causing offence to all elderly gentleman in Scotland and in the SNP?

So, you have been warned, choose your words carefully out there.

Five Rules to Remember in Life

FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE:

1. Money cannot buy happiness but its more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle.........

2. Forgive your enemy but remember the bastards name. .........

3. Help someone when they are in trouble and they will remember you when they're in trouble again..........

4. Many people are alive only because it’s illegal to shoot them..............

5. Alcohol does not solve any problems but then again, neither does milk........

and as a bonus for all of you who appreciate a nice propeller:

Anyone who served in the Air Force will immediately spot the error.  This photo is absolutely incredible.. it should be a poster for what not to do. But can you tell what's wrong with it?

Thanks to Andy Williams for the above 

The Gold Urinal

Before Obama was elected President he went to see Bill and Hillary for some campaign advice, at their spacious home.

After drinking several glasses of iced tea, he asked Bill Clinton if he could use his personal bathroom.

When he entered Clinton's private toilet, he was astonished to see that Clinton had a solid gold urinal! Wow!

That afternoon, Obama told his wife, Michelle, about the urinal. "Just think,' he said, 'when I am President, I too could have a gold urinal. But I wouldn't have something so self-indulgent!"

Later, when Michelle had lunch with Hillary, she told Hillary how impressed Obama had been at his discovery of the fact that, in his private bathroom, Bill had a gold urinal.

That evening, when Bill and Hillary were getting ready for bed, Hillary smiled and said to Bill:

"I found out who pissed in your saxophone."

'Author Unknown'

Two Paddy's

(c) 123RF(r) 

Two Paddys were working for the city public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in.

They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one man digging a hole, the other  filling it in again.

An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole-digger, 'I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting in to your work, but I don't get it! Why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?'

The hole-digger wiped his brow and sighed, 'Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the lad who plants the trees called in sick.'

Steve Jobs

Got these in the mail and thought worth sharing, hope the unknown originator doesn't mind

A Scottish Sinner via Andy Williams

A Scottish house painter named Smokey Macgregor was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he often thinned down his paint to make it go a wee bit further.

As it happened, he got away with this for some time, but eventually the Baptist Church decided to do a big restoration job on the outside of one of their biggest buildings.

Smokey put in a bid, and, because his price was so low, he got the job. He set about erecting the scaffolding and setting up the planks, and buying the paint and, yes, I am sorry to say, thinning it down with water...

Well, Smokey was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly completed, when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder, the sky opened, and the rain poured down washing the thinned paint from all over the church and knocking Smokey clear off the scaffold to land on the lawn among the gravestones, surrounded by telltale puddles of the thinned and useless paint. 

Smokey was no fool.  He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty, so he got down on his knees and cried:

"Oh, God, Oh God, forgive me; what should I do?"

And from the thunder, a mighty voice spoke.. 
  


(You’re going to love this) 















"Repaint!  Repaint!  And thin no more!"

They Walk Amongst us - They really Do!

IDIOT SIGHTING 1

My daughter and I went through the McDonalds take-away window and I gave the girl a £5 note. Our total was £4.20, so I also handed her a Twenty pence piece.

She said, 'you gave me too much money.'

I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me £1 back.'
She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the 20 pence and said 'We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing.'

The girl then proceeded to give me back 80 pence in change..

Do not confuse the girls at MacD's.

IDIOT SIGHTING 2

We had to have the garage door repaired. The GARADOR repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.

I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one GARADOR made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a ¼ horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two.'

We haven't used Garador repair since. Happened in Bromley, Kent UK

IDIOT SIGHTING 3

I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the Highways Department to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

Story from Crayford, Kent, UK

IDIOT SIGHTING 4

My daughter went to a local Kentucky Fried and ordered a Mexican taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimum lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

From Gillingham Kent, UK.

IDIOT SIGHTING 5

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an Irish airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

Happened Luton Airport ..... UK

IDIOT SIGHTING 6

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.

Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'

She is a Local County Council employee in Dartford Kent, UK

IDIOT SIGHTING 7

When my husband and I arrived at Our Local Ford dealer to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the Mechanic "It's open!'
His reply, 'I know. I already did that side.'

This was at the Ford dealership in St Albans, Hertfordshire UK.

STAY ALERT!

They walk among us... and the scary part is that is they have the

RIGHT TO VOTE and REPRODUCE!

Saucy little Snow People

No shame these snow people!