Port De Soller Mallorca

Port De Soller Mallorca

Monday, 6 February 2012

How to get to Heaven from Scotland

To get to Heaven from Scotland …

I was testing children in my Glasgow Sunday school
class to see if they understood the concept of getting into heaven.
I asked them, 
"If I sold my house and my
Car, had a big jumble sale and gave all my
Money to the church, would that get me
Into heaven?"

the children answered.
"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed
The garden and kept everything tidy, would
That get me into heaven?"

Again, the answer was 

By now I was starting to smile.

"Well, then, if I was kind to animals and
Gave sweets to all the children and
Loved my husband, would that get me
Into heaven?"

Again, they all answered 

I was just bursting with pride for them.

I continued, "Then how can I get into heaven?"

A six year old boy shouted,
     "Yuv got tae be fukin' dead"
Kinda brings a wee tear tae yir eye...  

via Andy and Natalie Williams 


  1. Oh my god. I lost it with this one! Nearly choked to death - guess I'd get into heaven!

  2. Julia, Emma, Yes it was rather good wasn't it

  3. Funny, funny, funny. Thanks for the laugh.

  4. Stephanie, you are most welcome, there are a few more under General posts, Don't Blame Me if You're not Laughing, Sex in a Brothel Scottish Style, etc

  5. LOL! Horrible, but hilarious. :) I've seen my own kids respond in similar ways, minus the cussing... usually. So brutally honest.

  6. Kirkus, if you decided to come live in Scotland, your kids would soon pick it up... regrettably

  7. My kids might have included the cussing, but not in from of their mother.
    Too funny!

  8. A woman thinks, Thanks for stopping by, leave your name next time!

    And ditto to your comment, in fact I swear like a trooper at work but never in front of my wife or three grown up kids, unless it is a complete slip of the tongue and they are rare...

    If I do swear in my writing, and I have been told by one of my niece's that I am allowed to let rip from time to time, I do try to give a warning....

  9. Thanks for making me spit my coffee on my computer screen, Tom! This is a keeper. Kids sure do have a way of getting down to the basics!

  10. Oh Marylin, sorry sweety, but it was kinda funny, there is a place for profanity, sometimes xxxxx


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