Port De Soller Mallorca

Port De Soller Mallorca
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Monday, 6 February 2012

How to get to Heaven from Scotland


To get to Heaven from Scotland …
 

I was testing children in my Glasgow Sunday school
class to see if they understood the concept of getting into heaven.
I asked them, 
"If I sold my house and my
Car, had a big jumble sale and gave all my
Money to the church, would that get me
Into heaven?"

"NO!" 
the children answered.
"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed
The garden and kept everything tidy, would
That get me into heaven?"

Again, the answer was 
'No!' 

By now I was starting to smile.

"Well, then, if I was kind to animals and
Gave sweets to all the children and
Loved my husband, would that get me
Into heaven?"

Again, they all answered 
'No!'

I was just bursting with pride for them.

 
I continued, "Then how can I get into heaven?"

 
                                                     
A six year old boy shouted,
  
 
     "Yuv got tae be fukin' dead"
Kinda brings a wee tear tae yir eye...  

via Andy and Natalie Williams 

11 comments:

  1. Oh my god. I lost it with this one! Nearly choked to death - guess I'd get into heaven!

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  2. Julia, Emma, Yes it was rather good wasn't it

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  3. Funny, funny, funny. Thanks for the laugh.

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  4. Stephanie, you are most welcome, there are a few more under General posts, Don't Blame Me if You're not Laughing, Sex in a Brothel Scottish Style, etc

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  5. LOL! Horrible, but hilarious. :) I've seen my own kids respond in similar ways, minus the cussing... usually. So brutally honest.

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  6. Kirkus, if you decided to come live in Scotland, your kids would soon pick it up... regrettably

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  7. My kids might have included the cussing, but not in from of their mother.
    Too funny!

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  8. A woman thinks, Thanks for stopping by, leave your name next time!

    And ditto to your comment, in fact I swear like a trooper at work but never in front of my wife or three grown up kids, unless it is a complete slip of the tongue and they are rare...

    If I do swear in my writing, and I have been told by one of my niece's that I am allowed to let rip from time to time, I do try to give a warning....

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  9. Thanks for making me spit my coffee on my computer screen, Tom! This is a keeper. Kids sure do have a way of getting down to the basics!

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  10. Oh Marylin, sorry sweety, but it was kinda funny, there is a place for profanity, sometimes xxxxx

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