An attack of the poorlies - and why men need women!

Went for my walk last night and got back thinking I had either been hit by a large vehicle while crossing the road or been mugged by a gang of the local bottle smashers.  I must have been hit over the head as I recall neither event.

Now as @ishbelstronach will testify I do not exaggerate it when I feel poorly, it has really only happened once before when I had proper flu and not the wimpy man flu that guys usually complain about and take days to recover from! Sorry guys been a manager and seen it....

Well tonight I felt I had those symptoms again.  My body felt as if it had been through a pulveriser all aches, I was nauseous, and it was like the original no weight loss Mr Fat was back.  I was sitting, strike that, hanging onto the loo apparently as white as a sheet and a pool of sweat was forming around me as the room spun.  Not nice.

Before I became completely incapable of anything, I couldn't shout and I did not have the energy to bang on the floor, but I had the smart phone with me.  I sent Ishbel a text with one word, 'basin' and then collapsed against the wall.  As I mentioned earlier I am not one to get sick much or physically sick for that matter, but in our house over the years, the request for 'basin' can only mean one thing, someone is about to throw up, and usually the basin is too late!

Well thankfully this time it wasn't and 9 hours later I still haven't thrown up.  But I was sitting on the loo and the symptoms were also accompanied by a dodgy tummy wanting release from the other end, not nice!  Anyway Ishbel had brought me the basin and hovered clucking over me as wives and mother's do.  After about fifteen minutes thinking I was going to be sick and a soft trickle from the other end I managed to prop myself against the wall and attempted to clean you know where, however as soon as I stood up the room started spinning as well and the inevitable happened things started to escape.

Now I am really not trying to put you off whatever bit of food you might be nibbling at the moment, and I am sorry if this is not the usual light hearted blog I normally post, but there is a reason for the graphic tone above, and it is this.

On standing up and being overwhelmed, Ishbel had left the door open while she turned the bed down and switched on the overhead fan in the bedroom and the law of unintended consequences then came into play.  Not being able to stop myself I staggered from the bathroom to the top landing to the bedroom while discharging from the rear.  I was incapable of stopping it.

What did Ishbel do , wiped and cleaned without a word of complaint or a moan for probably the next hour, while continually checking up on me.  I still feel lousy 9 hours later but is there a sign of my horribleness anywhere in the bedroom, landing or bathroom, NO, not one sign.

That's what wife's and mothers do, they clean up after us without complaint, and sometimes we just don't appreciate them enough.

Thank You Ishbel

Best Wishes

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