Port De Soller Mallorca

Port De Soller Mallorca
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Saturday, 6 August 2011

Mr Fat needs a Bra

You will have read my previous Mr Fat Blogs and note that I was rather more than a little morbidly obese. Humongously fat is the term I think you will be reaching for, a bit like Vanessa Feltz even with a gastric band, although I have not and will not be going down that road.

Good god did you read about her this week, She has had a gastric band fitted and now will be limited to 1000 calorie intake per day for the rest of her life, can't see that happening can you?  I mean if anyone seemed to enjoy being fat and seemed to celebrate in so being, and god knows why you would, it was this woman!

I have said it before and I will say it again, there is no fun or happiness for you or the people around you if you are fat.  Let me ask you a question, if you are fat, have you ever, when you have got undressed just grabbed a couple of handfuls of it to move it into a more comfortable position, yes don't lie.  Now, like me you are probably, I hope, a fairly clean and hygienic person, yes? And so when you moved that big lump of fat that hangs down over your nether regions, did the stench of the rotten sweaty muskiness not threaten to overwhelm you where you have sweated, or perspired just a little, in those places that are forever hidden to fresh air, yes it did and if you say no, you are not being truthful with yourself.  

If you have been following these blogs you will know that I am losing weight without going on a diet.  Yes, that's right, without going on a diet.  I gave up bread and butter for a while, but I am back on it.  I eat steak,  I eat mashed potatoes, boiled potatoes roast potatoes.  I eat meat, chicken, steak, pork, bacon, eggs, black pudding, butter, ice cream.  Check out my twitpic page, the evidence is there.  I also eat lots and lots of fruit and veg, along with bars of chocolate.  Last night I stopped off at the chippy and got myself a portion of cod and chips, lashings of salt and vinegar and a can of pepsi.

I wrote at the beginning of July that for the first time in god knows how many years I had come in under 20 stone but I wouldn't consider myself actually under that weight until I was under it at both the start and the end of the day.  Well this week  I have achieved that.  So it takes me a month, but who cares, I am not in a race.  The idea is to lose the weight and keep it off and do it without making my life as miserable as it was, by being fat.  Yes, I am, this week fluctuating between 19.stones 9 lbs and 19 stones 11 lbs.

There is no secret to this either, it is all down to the fact that I want to be NOT FAT and the only change I have made in my life is this.  I have ditched the TV.  Not literally, it is still there in the corner and it is switched on from time to time, watched Torchwood on Thursday night, still want to slap that Gwen... but other than that the TV has largely gone.  So what do I do in stead, you ask?  Simple, again if you read these blogs you will know that when I started these mutterings that just walking to the end of the road was like a marathon for me in terms of energy expended and in being knackered for hours,  Well, now each and every day, mostly in the evenings I get out for a walk.  The walk can be an hour, hour and a half or hour and three quarters, and the trick is to do it daily, o.k. I have missed the odd day  but as a rule I am out there walking.

I still walk to the shops, unless doing a big shop, and I try and do at least 20 minutes around the Centre where I work each day as well, getting me out of the office.  So, if you are fat and you want to lose weight, you can do it without going on a diet, give it a try.

Finally, you have been reading this and wondering about the title, don't fib, you have.  I told you in an earlier blog, that in the process of putting on all this weight I had lost the ability to run and I told you of my one and only attempt in recent years to do this again.  Well I have an acquaintance on Twitter and we tweet occasionally, Jan Hicks  Jan's bio is "Lost 40 lbs with P90. Now a Beachbody Coach. My message is that you are capable of so much more than you know! Love running, knitting, stitching & reading, too"  and she has been encouraging me to keep doing what I am doing but also to step it up with short runs, walk, short runs, etc.  Well when I headed out for my walk tonight this tweet suddenly popped into my mind and having my trainers on I thought why not.  So girding myself  off I went.  Well blow me down with a paper fan.

I WAS RUNNING AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT I WAS ACTUALLY RUNNING........

Calm down, cut the applause, it didn't last... aw , shame, thanks, but let me explain.

No, it wasn't a complete disaster, I did discover that the ability to run has came back to me, but it will still be a while before I a doing a mile, let alone a half marathon, my 'training regime' is not geared up for anything different and I am quite happy at the moment.

No the problem was my MAN BOOBS.  Yes, my boobs, my titties. Now they are smaller now than they were before I started this weight loss game, but as I learned tonight I still have MAN BOOBS and they bounce.  How the hell do women run with these things bouncing up and down.  O.k. they weren't slapping me on the face as they bounced, but they bounced and it was bloody sore. I managed to do about 250 yards and hey that is the furthest I have run in over twenty years, so it is a milestone, but me boobs were to sore to go on.

So, do I get a women's sports bra or 'weight' until they get smaller, answers please!

Best Wishers

4 comments:

  1. YOU ARE MY HERO! :D

    Now, I'm afraid I can't help you with the man boob thing. Yes, we women rely on sports bras to keep them in place, but they probably don't have something like that for men. ;) Hmm, wondering if you could get some compression band to hold them in place? I don't know what to call something like that, but the thing that is coming to my mind is something my father wore around his mid-section back when he had a hernia. Maybe something like that until it becomes more comfortable to run. This is going to be one of those "think out of the box" times.

    But seriously Tom, I am thrilled for you. Not so much that you ran, but that you are realizing that you are capable of these things that you thought were beyond you. THAT is where change begins to happen! Keep on going, brother! You can do it! :)

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  2. dunno about the bra but just remember to rub vaseline on your nipnips or you'll chafe horribly =oP x

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  3. Thank you Leslie I'll try and get auntie Ish to help with that!

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