Port De Soller Mallorca

Port De Soller Mallorca

Friday, 21 December 2012

It's Christmas, enjoy!

Pre-Christmas health tips for busy people

Before Christmas is a good time to take stock of our lifestyle.
These 9 ½ questions will ensure that will make the right health choices (From a Japanese Doctor who appears an expert).

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong
life. Is this true?

A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste
on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make
you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving
faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Fruit very good. Brandy distilled
wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more
of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Grain good too. Bottom

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one.
If you have two body, your ratio two to one.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
exercise program?

A: Can't think of one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain...good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting
more vegetable be bad?

Q : Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around
the middle?

A: Oh no! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only
be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best
feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!

Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have
had about food and diets.

And remember:

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to
skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other -
body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what
a ride!!"


For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on
nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those
conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks
than Brits.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks
than Brits.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart
attacks than Brits.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart
attacks than Brits.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and
fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is
apparently what kills you

Merry Christmas



  1. Heheheheheheheheh! Yes indeed. Speaking English does it! We're doomed! Thus I will eat and drink what I like and hope I don't end up a whale. Because I like to swim you know.
    Thanks, Tom. Glorious!

  2. HAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! Heeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!! :^)

  3. Whew, do I feel so much better. I was going to diet, give up wine and exercise my little heart out. You've solved all my problems with one blog.

  4. Jules, you will never be a whale except in the WOW dept as in when people see one, WoW is their normal reaction, unless of course they are a Japanese whaler ....... xxxx

  5. Penny my darling, couldn't agree more xxxxx

  6. Stephanie, diets are for those of us with low esteem and lack of self confidence you party girl, party like it was the end of the world, oh wait, that passed like a damp squib, but you go girl, go xxxxx

    22 December 2012 07:21

  7. Yea, Tom! Another winner, and this one is common sense and sooooooo logical. But you're right, speaking English is the one thing that cuts your life span. I'm sorry for you Brits, but so glad we Americans don't speak your kind of English...

    Merry, Merry Christmas to you and your family, Tom, and a very happy new year.

  8. Marylin, I've given up on worrying about these things too, even on the difference between our 'English'

    And a Merry Christmas to you and the clan....... xxxxxxxx


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