Pre-Christmas health tips for busy people
Before Christmas is a good time to take stock of our lifestyle.
These 9 ½ questions will ensure that will make the right health choices (From a Japanese Doctor who appears an expert).
Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong
life. Is this true?
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste
on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make
you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving
faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Fruit very good. Brandy distilled
wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more
of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Grain good too. Bottom
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one.
If you have two body, your ratio two to one.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
A: Can't think of one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain...good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting
more vegetable be bad?
Q : Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around
A: Oh no! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only
be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best
feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.
Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!
Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have
had about food and diets.
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to
skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other -
body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what
For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on
nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those
conflicting nutritional studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart
attacks than Brits.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart
attacks than Brits.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and
fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is
apparently what kills you