Don't know where this came from but thought it worth a share ..........
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| (c) Telegraph |
Recently, a female police officer arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white
male, fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of the night. The next day, at
the Gwinnett courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and
lascivious behaviour, public indecency and public intoxication.
The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home
from a drinking session when he decided to stop, 'You know how a pumpkin is soft
and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I thought
there wasn't anyone around' he stated.
Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out
a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and
proceeded to satisfy his pressing need. 'Guess I was really into it, you know?'
he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process of doing the deed,
Lawrence failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his
audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached him.
'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' said Officer Taylor. 'I walked
up to Lawrence and he's just banging away at this pumpkin.' Officer Taylor went
on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence ... 'I said: 'Excuse
me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin??'
He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me
straight in the face and said: 'A pumpkin? Shit ... Is it midnight already?'
The Local Post wrote an article describing this as 'Best come-back line
ever.'
male, fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of the night. The next day, at
the Gwinnett courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and
lascivious behaviour, public indecency and public intoxication.
The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home
from a drinking session when he decided to stop, 'You know how a pumpkin is soft
and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I thought
there wasn't anyone around' he stated.
Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out
a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and
proceeded to satisfy his pressing need. 'Guess I was really into it, you know?'
he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process of doing the deed,
Lawrence failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his
audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached him.
'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' said Officer Taylor. 'I walked
up to Lawrence and he's just banging away at this pumpkin.' Officer Taylor went
on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence ... 'I said: 'Excuse
me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin??'
He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me
straight in the face and said: 'A pumpkin? Shit ... Is it midnight already?'
The Local Post wrote an article describing this as 'Best come-back line
ever.'
Oh, Tom, I'm still howling at this guy's reply. And of course it was a female police officer who had to find this guy. So, in the UK, what kind of fine/punishment/public service did he get for lewdly fornicating with a pumpkin in public?
ReplyDeleteI just hope he wasn't a gardner who then sold pumpkin seeds and pureed pumpkin to unsuspecting buyers...
Oh Marylin I think that comment may stick in my mind when pumpkin season is upon us and I might not make a purchase LoL xx
DeleteThanks for sharing...I think
ReplyDeleteJust remember John, as a chef, pumpkins are for cooking - Nothing else ....... When alone in the kitchen .....
Delete