You will know, if you follow my posts, that I have had a couple of minor ailments and accidents over the years. I apparently have a touch of Asthma. Had a hearing test recently where allegedly I am suffering from the slightest of hearing loss in both ears, does that mean I am going deaf in stereo?
I recently had an Attack of the Poorlies when Ishbel my wife of 35 and a bit years was cleaning up after me. I've been shot, I've been trapped down a pothole with torrential rain above leading to the pothole beginning to flood, I have had canoes spring leaks on me in the middle of the English Channel and the Middle of the Danube river ( read bloody big and wide and not really blue, yuk) oh, and I crushed some vertebrae in a parachuting incident. But hey, you venture out into the world and these things happen, don't they?
But other than that, and being FAT I'm doing OK.
Now Ishbel on the other hand for the 35 and a bit years, plus (please don't hit me again if I get this wrong) the 3 or was it 4 years before we got married (oh Ish, please don't hit me again), has been relatively fit and healthy, eats like a pig and never puts on any weight(what's that B word associated with women that I am not allowed to use), is never ill and never never misses a step through life until.....
Memory again, about 1993 or was it 94 she started to lose her voice ( I wasn't really pleased, honest I wasn't) anyway after a battery of tests, poking and prodding she was sent to see a specialist in London and she was diagnosed with something called Laryngeal Dystonia Now this is a condition that affects the vocal cords and as far as I can tell the only treatment is a very painful one, or so Ishbel tells me (but what do women know about pain) and that is a large needle pushed directly into her vocal cords every couple of months with an injection, and anyway why is she whingeing, it's Botox and as son says, she is going to be the only wrinkly 100 year old with a neck as smooth as a baby's bum!
But she never complains. Then recently we were sitting at the table having a meal and I noticed that she was suddenly staring at the wall with a vacant expression on her face (some might say living with me that is normal - and I would just smack them on the teeth) and her right hand, or was it her left, see my memory is going too, was banging constantly on the plate! I tried to to ask what was going on, what was the matter, but was getting absolutely no response, as suddenly as it had started it was gone. Ishbel says she was not aware of what I was talking about and went straight into continuing the sentence she was uttering, as if nothing had happened. I was worried of course, but trying to get someone to go and see the doctor for something that they did not know was happening, was a hard task.
Fortunately, or not, as the case may be, it started to happen again, not a lot but intermittently and I would keep on at her. But then it happened when the kids were over for a visit and again Ishbel would say she had no idea what we were talking about, but agreed to go to the doctor.
Long story short, it turns out she's
a nutter, sorry she has a mild form of epilepsy, easily controlled with a pill, so all is well and she still never misses a step, she gallivants all over the south of England on her days off work, on train, tube, bus and shank's pony visiting son, and daughters and grandchildren, then comes home and looks after me (not that I need looking after I am a MAN), and even with all of that we still have a laugh, well mainly me laughing at her as can be seen here......The Bionic Babe and that explains also why I am also laughing when I shouldn't be, remember ever so slight loss of hearing and I do miss some things that are said to me and what do I do, laugh like an idiot of course!
Keep well and look after yourselves
PS: I should point out since MR Fat started to lose weight his wheezing is nowhere as bad as can be heard, you'll understand......