Have I lost my Sense of Humour or are others just mean spirited -Good Mom Bad Mom and some TiT called Jimmy Kimmell

Jenny,  I found you a couple of months ago and I have come to look forward to your blogs with your warped sense of humour, like, I suppose a mild drug fix.  You're clearly a bright, intelligent woman, with, as far as I can tell, a full time job, and a couple of blogs.  Within the next few months you will no doubt add the title of 'Best Selling Author' to the many accolades that have been heaped upon you already.

You are clearly in a loving relationship and seem to have a wonderful husband and daughter.  In amongst all that zany buffoonery, you also appear to have a heart of gold with the good things that you also do for people, and all of this at the same time while suffering on and off from depression.  And during these bouts I hope you have found time to read my comments to you, that I send in the small hope that they help to cheer you up.

As usual I clicked on the link posted on your tweet on 13th December from good mom/ bad mom expecting another funny and slightly irreverent post.

What I did not expect to find was the level of sheer unadulterated  meanness from so many parents towards their children.  parents and an audience who thought it would be fun to allow their children to open a Christmas gift early and then for the child to find a half eaten sandwich or a small boy to find some 'my little ponies' or whatever else warped present the parents knew was inappropriate and would be hurtful to the child!

And then, to witness these spiteful acts as filmed by parents and sent to Mr Kimmell on his TV show was downright awful.  I do have  sense of humour and like most people I have been known to laugh at the misfortune of others.  But the laughter is normally at the ludicrousness of the situation and its outcome rather than at the person. Mr Kimmell and his audience were laughing, as presumably you were too, at children who no doubt have been brought up and conditioned, no I don't think conditioned is to strong a word, to believe in the goodness of Christmas.  They have been conditioned to believe and expect to find, even when things may have been difficult in their families, for whatever reason during the past 12 months, that what they are going to get under the tree from Santa and their parents is beautiful gifts, whether that be the latest toy or gadget, fad, or game, doll or bike or whatever; they are conditioned by us to expect nice things to appear out of their shiny wrapping paper.

These are children for goodness sake not teenagers or adults who we might all play a prank on and then expect them to get the joke.  Children, particularly those of a young age, whose moronic parents chose to 'play along' with this weird request,  clearly did not get the joke, and I know that you and others will qualify this by saying, "yes but their parents explained it to them afterwards, it was all a joke, they got it", yes well I am sure they probably did.  But it does not make it any less a stupid and appalling thing to do to a child in the first place.

I am grateful that I am unable to view Mr Kimmell on this side of the Atlantic as he says in his opening statement that he asked people to do something similar at Halloween, well all I can say is, "I'm glad I missed that one"

I end just with this.  I truly truly enjoy following you and I am so honoured that you follow me, although with so many followers I suspect that you do not have the time or the inclination to read every comment that comes in on your timeline , so I will jut be another anonymous follower.  That's fine and understandable.  I will continue to follow you and share your journey, your life, your troubles and be as supportive as I can from afar as you struggle with whatever demons that occasionally attack you.  All I would ask is that you do not support this type of thing that could inflict demons on a child at this wonderful time of year, or any other time for that matter!

I did try and post this on the comments section but clearly I have run on to much for it to be accepted!

I also thought long and hard about putting your link on this oner but in the interests of fairness and to allow people to see why I have apparently have lost my sense of humour, I reluctantly did.


http://blog.chron.com/goodmombadmom/2011/12/mean-and-also-hysterical/

Chilli, Garlic and Ginger Seafood Medley with Pasta

Seafood, we all love this in the family Ishbel and I, the kids and the grand kids, whether it is fish shrimp or crustacean, can't get enough of them at times.  Paella, curried, with sauce, without sauce, Fish Pie with mashed tatties and some melted cheese on top , with salsa and salad, with pasta, with new potatoes, serve it any which way and it will be devoured.

So, today is my wee easy recipe for seafood medley or 'fruit de mere' with chilli, garlic and ginger and tossed in pasta.

You need a good quantity of fresh seafood, need to sort that out depending on how many you are serving, but this recipe is for two, when the grand kids arrive the quantities go up from two to six around the table but when it is Mollie, you always need to add a wee bit more for miss piggy particularly the squid and scallops!

I like to prepare my pasta early and then when cooked plunge it into a pan of ice cold water, and then all you need to do is reheat it when the seafood is ready. So with that out of the way I can concentrate on preparing my herbs, etc.


1 red chilli
1 good sized piece of ginger
2 good sized garlic cloves
1 Lemon un-waxed
Tomatoes
Courgette (Zuccini) and Olives are optional
1 large glass of good white wine
Big bunch fresh parsley
Salt and Black Pepper
500 grams of assorted seafood from the fish counter (if you can't get fresh I do use frozen but thoroughly thawed out before using it)



Slice and de-seed the chilli, but if you like a bit of heat keep some of the seeds
Peel and grate the ginger
Slice the tomatoes in half
Grate the lemon peel
peel and crush the garlic
Chop the parsley finely

                                                                             

If using the olives, slice in half
Lop of the ends of the courgette and discard slice into circles then 1/4 the circles into decent sized chunks

Sweat the olives courgettes and tomatoes down in a little unsalted butter, these take the longest to cook. Medium heat for about 5 to 7 minutes but don't over cook don't want to the courgettes to turn mushy, still like them firm but cooked.

Add the glass of wine to a second hot pan  and add the seafood.

Stir in the ginger, chilli and garlic and the grated lemon  reduce the heat.   Squeeze in juice from half the lemon.  Remember seafood only takes a few minutes to cook.  It needs to be cooked through but not turning to rubber.  Add most of the chopped parsley, you could also have used fresh coriander instead for this, but keep some back for sprinkling over the finished dish

Oh, just before you add the seafood you should have drained the already cooked pasta and have another pan of boiling water on the go.

The seafood should just be about ready as the shrimp change colour to the nice deep pink that you all know.  Take it of the heat it will continue to cook

Drain the pasta and add to the seafood.  Take your pan with the courgettes, olives and tomatoes, and add this to the pasta and seafood.  toss the whole lot, using utensils in the pan and not literally and serve  with crusty bread.

Enjoy






Total Prep and cook time Time: 20 - 25 mins

Pasta first Cook: about 12 mins

Pasta reheat: in boiling water 1 - 2 minutes, no longer. You can of course just cook the pasta as you are prepping every thing as long as you time it right to drain and get  it into the pan with the seafood before  it turns to rubber and remember the hot pasta added to the seafood will add to it continuing to cook, that's why it is important as well not to over cook the seafood in the pan.

herb prep time: 10 minutes

Seafood cook time: depends on quantity and size of pan, so always use a large pan so that the seafood is not piled on top of itself so that the heat gets to every morsel evenly and at the same time.  My rule of thumb is as the shrimp just begin to turn pink - heat off  and let if finish in the hot liquor and when the hot pasta is added.

Glass of white wine added to pan

Chopped chilli

Ginger to be grated 

Crushed Garlic and grated ginger 

Lemon rind and courgettes 

The Journal of Avery Moore by Michael R Hicks

If you have read my blogs and reviews and you know me on Twitter you will know that Michael R Hicks falls into the category of, “My Favourite Authors.”

The Journal of Avery Moore was a bit of a departure for him from his usual writings and for me as a reader, in that it was a horror story,.....

I often think, as I suppose many readers do, of meeting my favourite authors, well, I think I am going off the idea of actually meeting Mr Hicks, anyone that can wake up in the middle of the night with such a twisted story embedded in his mind might not make for a best friend, there has to be a hint of madness lurking behind those eyes.

The Journal Of Avery Moore is a short story charting the kidnapping, imprisonment and torture of a nice man, who happens to be a lawyer, yes I know ,but there are nice lawyers out there I know two...

Avery Moore chronicles the depravity of his time in captivity, without knowing why he is here or indeed how long he has been there. And, when that is finally revealed, that is the final act that almost tips him into the insanity that he has been slowly slipping into, crucified on a medical bench during his captivity.

This is a short, well written book with thirteen short chapters but they are so intense in places that you do find yourself breathing heavily especially when Avery wakes up and discovers his predicament and how he has been ‘stitched up”. As they say, “Oh My God” who would have thought of writing something like that, Well Hicks clearly did and it works, scary but riveting.  I really did not think I was going to enjoy it, and I don’t even know if that is the correct description to use after reading this one.

I think he was right to do it as a short story and bring it to a conclusion which was fairly explosive and understandable under the circumstances.  I started reading it during lunch yesterday and completed in the evening.

BUY IT HERE

5 out of 5 stars

Untitled

ONE

 I was sitting on the window ledge of the lounge, Hugh Laurie was singing the Blues and I was having a fag, letting the smoke drift out the open window. It was a fine summer evening the sun was still giving a warmth that was cosy rather than oppressive.  Summer had been a disappointment for some as it had not been hot enough for them.  Me, on the other hand, I didn’t like it to warm. Cosy, that’s how I liked it and cool at night so that I could sleep without waking up in a pool of my own sweat.

It would be my own sweat as no one was sharing my bed these nights, not that I missed it really, the life of a single guy was growing on me again since I was left on my own 6 months ago. And if she was still here I certainly wouldn’t be sitting in-doors having my fag, no, I would have been out on my ear as soon as the pack came out of my pocket, hail, rain or shine, “ If you want to smoke, do it outside, not in here”, she would say.

We had been together now for two years, or rather we would have been together for two years if she had still been here with me, but fate had intervened and taken her away from me as suddenly as it had thrown us together.

I took another drag on my fag, inhaling slowly.  She hated smoking and she hated smelling it on me, but she was full of contradictions as I would catch her looking at me when we were out, with that quirky smile on her face, “ What you looking at,” I’d say.  “You, I like the way you do that.”  “What?” I asked.  “The way you hold the cigarette and inhale so deeply, it’s like a caress, it’s the way you hold me at night, when we are together, as if you don’t want to let go. You’re like that when you smoke, you know it’s no good for you, but you are passionate about it!”  I thought about that for a few moments when she said it, finally asking, “Do you think that you’re no good for me, is that what you’re saying?”

“Maybe I’m not.” She replied looking away with a slight frown.  Still not looking back at me she continued, “You still don’t really know me. Who I am, what I am.”  “I told you before, when you’re ready you’ll be able to tell me, I’m in no hurry, as long as you aren’t an axe murderer or anything like that” She looked away again, troubled.

I liked to look at her, especially at night when she was asleep.  From the moment I saw her in that alley, being attacked, dirty and dishevelled, I knew, underneath the grime, she was going to be stunning and she was.  A titian, but unlike a normal redhead her skin was not too fair more a Mediterranean duskiness. And her eyes, although yet to determine the exact colouring had a fire in them that almost burned her attackers with the intensity of the glare.

18^th July 2009,  it was a Saturday.  I had just left the Golden Nugget casino on Shaftesbury Avenue, it was 3 AM.  Not an upmarket place, but good enough for me.  I wasn’t really a gambler, never been in a bookies before, but I did like a flutter with a couple of hundred on a Friday night. Blackjack and roulette were my games and there was a bistro restaurant, nothing fancy.  Also it was handy for me. I had inherited a flat in the city nearby.

She looked to be about just under 6 foot, tall for a woman, and not the usual obese women we come to expect as we move about our cities and towns in the UK.  No, this woman was athletic, not muscular athletic but graceful athletic, even pinned against the wall, you could tell this and she was bleeding from the mouth as one of the attackers hit her again while screaming at her, the attackers face inches from her own and showering her in spittle.

“Now, Ciara, stop fucking about, Fatima doesn’t like it when people fuck her especially if she hasn’t dropped her knickers first, and you have royally fucked her, haven’t you. Now where the fuck is it, or do you want some more of this?”  She was about the same size as Ciara, English, but built like a prop forward from the local rugby team. Ciara was a like a rag doll against her.  Her mate, a guy, not speaking and just standing off to one side, was again as tall and as wide and held one of these shiny metal baseball bats, slapping it into the open palm of his right hand; he was a lefty then, nice to know.  

Ciara spat blood in her face; “Fuck you Silverblade, I haven’t got it and even if I did, you can still fuck off” and she tried to struggle against what looked like a vice like grip at her throat.  At that, Silverblade turned to the guy and as she spoke his name, “Ned...” her voice trailed off for a moment as she looked round Ned and spotted me. “We’ve got some unexpected company” she said, smiling, nodding her head in my direction. It was a kind of joyous smile, the kind of smile that you would expect to see on a child or someone you had just given a nice gift to.  But in that moment I supposed it was also the kind of smile that a psychopath might have as he or she inflicted pain or as in this case, was the harbinger of the pain that Ned was about to inflict on me!

Silverblade did not move, nor did she release her left handed grip on Ciara’s throat.  She just pointed to me with her right hand and said, “Ned, if the gentleman wont fuck off on his own accord, maybe you would assist him in finding his way back to the street, but don’t be too rough on him. he looks cute!”  Ned smiled, it wasn’t a nice smile.  I guessed, like me, he was a smoker, but unlike me he didn’t look after his teeth, yellow and one was missing.  He appeared to be almost salivating at the prospect of hitting me with the bat. 

I just put my hands up, palms face out to show that I was unarmed.  Also that I was wearing a suit and tie and therefore no threat to them, I said, “Sorry, I didn’t meant to interrupt, but if it’s money you’re after I could let you have mine, if you let the lady go..”  I was actually hoping, that that would work as I was not in the mood, I hadn’t lost any money in the casino, I left on evens tonight, but, I had a bit of thumping headache, so, the last thing I wanted was a rumble in a dark London alleyway, but, on the other hand there was a lady in distress, even if one of the attackers was also ‘a lady’.

The one named Silverblade let out a giggle, yes, it was a giggle, not expected, and when you hear someone giggling it’s normally a nice sound, but her giggle was accompanied by, “Oh, fuck it Ned just whack him and take his wallet, ponce fucking offered so it would be churlish of us to refuse and anyway, we may as well have ourselves a bonus and we’ll just take this bitch back to Fatima’s place for some playtime.”

At that, I moved. I took two steps to my right, Ned’s left, holding the bat in his left hand this left him wrong footed and he tried to swing the bat towards me, it was awkward for him, not for me. As I stepped up I put my weight on my right leg. Lifted my left and smashed it down into his left kneecap.  He screamed and started to go down, dropping the bat, I caught it and for good measure whacked him over the back of the head sending him sprawling into the alleyway behind me.  I continued to move forward, I didn’t look behind me as I knew that I had hit Ned with enough force to give him a severe concussion and that he wouldn’t be any more trouble.

Silverblade still hadn’t moved from her position holding Ciara  by the throat and with just a hint of curiosity I also noticed that she didn’t seem bothered about how I had managed to take out Ned or that I was now moving towards her with the metal bat in my hands.

“Be ca...” the words were cut off by a strangled moan from Ciara’s mouth as Silverblade tightened her grip with little effort, but I got her meaning. Silverblade was still smiling when she said, “So you’re not just a cutesy in a suit then.” She said as a long bladed knife with what looked like a heavy silver handle appeared in her hand.  She was fast. And in one fluid move the knife came up and the handle connected with Ciara’s temple at the same time as Silverblade let go of Ciara’s throat with her left hand, she slumped, unconscious to the ground.  “Let it go” I said, “Your knife is no match for this bat, why don’t you just take your mate and leave.” I suggested hopefully. “If it’s money you’re after I have a couple of hundred in my wallet, you can have it if you just leave, now.”

Other than turning to face me head on, she had made no move to move away from the limp body of Ciara lying behind her.  “I don’t need your money, and as for her” she said, but without taking her eyes of me, “She gets her money from us.” “So what is it you want from her apart from a need to show that you are more of man then her and can beat up on someone else?”  As the conversation went on I knew she was measuring me up as I was her, trying to see if there was a weakness we could each exploit.  But she was good, she had her prey at her feet and wasn’t about to let me get to her without a fight.  “She took something that didn’t belong to her “ she said, “and we want it back”

“Look, I don’t want to fight you, but from what I saw and the little I heard, it seems to me that if I were in her shoes and you were beating down on me I would have given up whatever it is you thought I had stolen, if I had it” I thought that sounded reasonable but it soon became evident that this Silverblade wasn’t a reasonable person. “Fuck you,, we know she took it and you should do yourself a favour and turn around, before I lose my patience with you, which aint going to be long” she ended. “Sorry, can’t do ...” but before I could finish she moved, same trick as me with Ned earlier, she moved to my right, but I was ready for her and as quick as she was with her knife I was just as quick. The bat handle seamlessly transferred to my left hand and came up to deflect the knife that was just about to sink into my right bicep, missed me by millimetres, but I also had to back pedal as a second blade appeared in her left hand, and was coming in towards my chest. 

So, leave a comment and let me know what you think, should I try and develop this story or throw it in the bin?