To lighten your day, or to scare you!

It's been a while, but got this by email today and thought you might like it.  They made me smile but for some reason the last one made me laugh out loud! Especially for my teacher friends, but I think everyone will enjoy this one, and it does say a lot about the youth of today. The following questions were set in last year’s examination These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)............and they WILL breed. (scary) Q. Name the four seasons A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists Q. How is dew formed A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire Q. What causes the tides in the oceans A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election Q. What are steroids  A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs (Shoot yourself now , there is little hope) Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery (So true) Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes A. Premature death Q. What is artificial insemination A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow  Q. How can you delay milk turning sour A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant) Q. What is the fibula? A. A small lie Q. What does 'varicose' mean?  A. Nearby   Q. What is the most common form of birth control  A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium (That would work) Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section' A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome Q. What is a seizure? A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit) Q. What is a terminal illness  A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable) Q. What does the word 'benign' mean? A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant)

Recipe: Chicken on the bone - Pomodoro

Nearly forgot this, Made a pot of leek and potato soup at the weekend that went down well with Charlie and Holly who made home made cheese croutons to go with it.

Also made a quick Chicken Pomodoro with thigh and leg pieces, using chicken with the bone still in really does intensify the flavour, so this is what you'll need, and this was for three adults and two ravenous kids who really like their chicken.

3 or 4 (each) thigh and leg pieces
1 large or two small onions
Mushrooms optional
2 or 3 mixed peppers
handful of cherry or other small tomatoes
Lemon zest
Dried Bay leave
Salt
Thyme
Olive oil
Ready pack of Pomodoro
1/4 to 1/2 cup of chicken stock

I started off adding a tablespoon or two to the pan and browning in batches and all over, the chicken pieces .











While cooking the chicken I add the lemon zest, thyme and bay leaves along with some Maldon salt to a grinder or you can cheat and buy Jamie Olivers' all in one grinder  and grind this in while browning the chicken.  Once browned, remove the chicken from the pan an set aside.





Peel and roughly chop your onions add to the pan and start to sweat down for about 5 minutes, adding a touch more olive oil if required.

Roughly deseed your peppers and slice longways and then in half, chunky but manageable. Add to pan once onions have started to turn soft. After about two minutes frying the peppers with the onions










and if  using mushrooms, again roughly chop and again keeping thick as you don't want these or the peppers to turn to mush, add to the pan and stir for a couple of minutes browning the mushrooms.

Now, it's time to return the chicken to the pan along with a carton of Pomodoro, and the handful of cherry tomatoes and if necessary a 1/4 to 1/2 a cup of chicken stock, (you won't always need the stock, so you need to decide for yourself).








Cover with lid and place in a pr-heated oven, about 160- 170 degrees and cook for thirty minutes to finish of the chicken.  After thirty minutes remove the lid and let the skin roast on top of the chicken.  Serve the dish up on the table with chunky bread and let folks dip in for meat, veg and ju... enjoy

Asgard :the power of the talking hammer by Charlie Kennedy (age 7)

Had Charlie and Holly over this weekend and we went to a daredevil stunt show on Saturday night with them, it was freezing and the wind chill must have made the temperature about 10 degrees, but they enjoyed it, especially Charlie, who was wide eyed at the whole thing.  Unfortunately idiot granddad changed the lens on his camera before going and instead of the telephoto lens just had a normal one so the photo's weren't great, so won't be posting on that , but here is a taster

 Charlie                                                                                                                    Holly

Then today, after we returned from the park Charlie told me about a story he had written on his ipod, in the car on his way to visit his other grandparents.  He has still to finish it but I thought a nice wee taster from a budding author, well as an aside Holly says she wants to be an author and Charlie says ne wants to be an illustrator, but I thgink, and told him so, after reading this, that he could be an author and an illustator too.. but then I am biased ........

I just sent this over from his ipod and reproduce it here as written, and he tells me he is writing more

Asgard :the power of the talking hammer

image (c) virginiavirtucon.wordpress.com

Long ago there lived a black smith called Thor.He lived with his mum and dad there where called Lucy and Odin.He was there god he was a great man he cared for his people and respected them.One day a magical  dwarf came and the gate keeper said to the dwarf "no mini dwarf's allowed "the   dwarf replied "I am not mini"then the gate keeper let him in he went to the palace and said o great and mighty on please take my gift it is the lightning hammer so he told him what it did and then he shoed him but when the dwarf was shoeing him how to fly by accident it slipped right out of his hands and went strait to the door of the black smith when Lucy came out to do the washing she tripped and said to Thor" can you fix this hammer" Thor rippled " yes mum" every time he hit it he here'd a nose then he notes't it was hammer talking it was saying ouch and stop

Book Review: Second Son by Lee Child

Look inside Amazon UK here
Look inside Amazon US here 

You know I am a big fan of Jack Reacher from Lee Child and I have had this one on my Kindle for sometime now but only just got round to reading it!

The book opens in Paris with Reacher's 90 year old grandfather about to die and the neighbours trying to reach his daughter, Reacher's mother Josie, who is in transit to her husbands next posting.

This is a retrospective taking us back to Reacher at 13 years of age and he, his Father a Captain in the US Marines his older brother Joe and their mother Josie have just arrived in Okinawa.

Reacher is already on the way to being oversized unlike Mr Cruise, who at 13 was probably only about 80 lbs and was never much more than that, sorry I'm digressing....

Young Recher quickly finds that the local American kids have a hierarchy and a unique way of welcoming new kids on the block, but as we find in his later life, he is not one to pay the piper and sets about dismantling the local gang at the some time as deducing who framed his brother over a set of missing school test answer sheet and solving the riddle of the missing codex book that could see his father painting kerbstones white as a private soldier.

This sets the scene for his later life as an investigator in the MP's and maybe tells us why he joined the Military Police rather than the Marines, like his father all in all a good introduction to young reacher.

My only issue with this was what appeared to be a formatting issue at the beginning of chapter 10 in that Reacher was having a conversation with a girl he met on the beach and whom he exchanges kisses with and who he finds has only been on the base for a couple of weeks longer than he has and the established kids are also making her life a bit rough.  The layout goes from the normal spread across the full page to a line by line conversational piece, as each one speaks in three of four word sentences and looks completely awful between two normal passages, this happens in one other place in the book.  It may just be me, but I found it slightly off putting*, but still thoroughly enjoyed the story.

Editing for Kindle: 4 out of 5
Reading Enjoyment: 5 out of 5
Page Count: 40
Front cover Art Work: 5 out of 5
Plot: 5 out of 5
Overall Rating: 5 out of 5

This was the editing I mentioned, as I say, it's probably just me overthinking it, but I don't think it needed it like this.  It does appear in  other books when the dialogue is running between two characters  rather than the story been told in a third person narrative but I can't recall seeing it quite like this in a Reacher novel before and to me, between the two normal passages it just didn't sit right!