Ishbel has just related the story of Mollie, our youngest grand daughters latest crisis in her life concerning LOVE.
Mollie is 8 years of age and the size of a milk bottle, her sister Shannon, and her cousins Charlie and Holly, (why would my daughters do that , closely name the children, was it just to confuse me, so that they and their daughters can continually berate me as they exasperatedly again say, That's not my/her name....) are just about to overtake her in size, and they are five, bless, but small in stature, as in lots of other things is usually made up for in other departments, brains, beauty, and boundless energy and perseverance in all that she undertakes.
Anyway, this love thing. Apparently she came home last night from her school disco and spoke to my big baby, her Mum, Jennifer and said,
"Mummy, I have a problem".
Now remember I am getting this third hand from Jennifer to Ishbel to me and while I recognise that the impartiality of a Mother and Grandmother is always present in the retelling of stories concerning the brood, I can not be held responsible for any editorial mistakes apropos the veracity of the recounting of the story from me to you...
"Oh God! (wordlessly I imagine) What is it darling".
"Well, you no Kieran has been my boyfriend for ages (since kindergarten apparently, why don't I know these things), and I really like HIM".
"Yessssss", replies Jennifer wondering what's coming next.
"Well, Jake has now asked me to be his girlfriend, and I really like him but I still like Kieran, and I don't know what to do. What should I do Mummy?"
"Hang on", I interject, "who is Jake?" I ask.
"Oh, she has known him for ages, Ishbel responds.
"How long is ages", I repeat.
"Years", says Ishbel, "it doesn't really matter does it!"
It matters to me now that I know, I can't process half a story and be expected to give any sort of decent counsel if I don't have the facts......................
Back to Mollie........
"So, what should I do Mummy".
"So, what did Jennifer say to her", I ask.
Well I'll tell you, she copped out. Confronted by this monumental earth shattering dilemma she responded.
"Wellllllllllll, what I think you should do, is think about it. You have known Kieran since you were a baby and Jake for (I must have missed again how long ages is in terms of a definitive time span in the life of the universe) and I think you should take the time to think about what you are going to do. Only you can make that decision."
"Can I phone daddy to ask him." (daddy is at work on the night shift)
"It's a school day tomorrow, why don't you speak with him in the morning."
"O.k." and daddy Steve is duly phoned and apparently gives the same advice, "to sleep on it and have a think about what to do.
Ok, Ok, I know what you are all thinking, Bless her the wee angel, pleeeaaassssse. Well Granddad/ Dad to the rescue, here's my advice.
Remind her that she is only 8 and that boys and girls at 8 have friends NOT BOYFRIENDS and GIRLFRIENDS That they are all friends and best mates and at 8 it is ok to have lots of boy FRIENDS and lots of girl FRIENDS. And say this to Kieran and Jake as well so that they all know it is OK to have as many friends as they want at that age.
And if I here any more of this nonsense I am going back to good old smacking of bottoms and it won't be the grand kids who get a smack either
Anyone else got advice on this subject, feel free to chip in.................