Me; Morning Lee
Lee; Morning Tom, how can I help today (good start)
Me; I need a couple of laminated signs, say, 15 x 15 to be screwed to either side of the entrance step, where you put the handrails for the elderly, infirm and disabled.
Lee; yes, I remember them. What do you want on the signs?
Me; Hey you, Yes you STUPID, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A FUCKING BIKE RACK?
Lee; I don't think so, want to try again?
Me; Okay, what about this The HANDRAIL, below this sign is to assist those who need help climbing the steps NOT FOR FUCKING HALFWITS TO ATTACH THEIR FUCKING BIKES TO!
Lee; I don't think that'll fit on the sizes you want, and again, I don't think we can supply that either.
And so it went on for a few more tries with me trying to get a contractor who I am willing to pay good money to, to fulfil my requirements. In the end we settled on, Lee; why don't you leave it with us and to prevent you from getting lynched and sacked in that order, we will make up and affix the appropriate signs for you...
But the point of this, other than Lee keeping me out of the shit, again is; What the fucking hell is wrong with some people?
Are they born idiots and it just keeps getting worse as they grow older but not wiser? Or do they have to practice it every day to get to the point where they are so pig fucking ignorant that you just want to strangle them as soon as they a) open their gobs or b) they start to do what is so blindingly obviously wrong, that the rest of us see it immediately, but they just don't, even when you POLITELY (I know there is a disquieting contradiction there between me and politely, but I can be ... honest I can) point out to them that they shouldn't be doing it.
It's like delivery men or ordinary members of the public for that matter. They enter a building and stand RIGHT IN FRONT CENTRE of the lift (elevator to our cousins) doors, always making the assumption that no one is riding in it and going to walk out. And, invariably there is someone in it WHEN A FUCKING IDIOT IS BLOCKING IT AND NORMALLY it is the IDIOT DELIVERY MAN WITH A LOADED SACK TROLLEY THAT WHEN THE LIFT DOORS OPEN YOU WALK STRAIGHT OUT OF AND INTO IT AND HIS STUPID BOXES AND HEAVY METAL PROTUBERANCE ON THE FUCKING BOTTOM OF IT....is it me or what?
Anyway, it's Friday and it's lunchtime and I have just had my bowl of oxtail soup and delicious it was too. The weekend will be starting soon and all of this will be forgotten until Monday... unless of course ....
Have a good weekend, sorry about the language you know it's not really me But FUCKING IDIOTS DO FOR ME EVERY TIME and I wouldn't mind so much if I had not already provided TWO FUCKING PROPER BIKE RACKS FOR THE MORONS WHO STARTED ME RANTING
Sorry :-) I've gone this time. really, bye bye
I love your rant, Tom. And I am in complete agreement - First I was run off the road yesterday by a truck that refused to move over into a vacant lane of traffic and would not let me merge onto the freeway. Not twenty minutes later a young woman stepped off the curb in front of my car and ran across four lanes of traffic. The cars were moving at 40-50 mph. Brakes were shrieking, cars were swerving. All she had to do was walk one block to the crossing light.
ReplyDeleteIdiots.
Oh Jules, I despair I really do. the human race seems to be on a downward spiral with the the few intelligent ones being swamped by the moronic. Maybe the morons are the first evolutionary step in regressive behaviour into real live living zombies and it might be or duty to actually start culling them to save ourselves?
DeleteAs usual, when you let it rip, Tom, you're half hilarity and half serious rant edged with substance. It's a great combination.
ReplyDeleteI agree there was some fucking idiocy going on, but I won't say more. ;=) I just love that our two countries are so much alike on these things. There's a comfort in that somehow.
And I think I am becoming more intolerant of the zombified brains of these morons as I get older Marylin as I find it almost incomprehensible that anyone can be so dumb...... Anyway I will get my usual dose of sanity when I pop over to http://warnerwriting.wordpress.com/ Things I want to tell my mother, tomorrow
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