I fully expected them to be wearing Hi-Viz vests with KEEP CLEAR, RADIOACTIVE HUMAN IN CONVOY, with flashing red and amber lights on helmets on their heads, but no just one in front and one in rear but keeping their distance with the comment, 'we're not being rude, we just need to keep our distance or we will overdose being in here every day!
And then after I've had my pee, and I was fully expecting that to be glowing bright orange as it came out, yet the morning was so full of disappointments. The car park with the trailer with the scanner is located at the rear of the hospital, it's a bit of a hike and not really well signed, but never mind finally got there after being given some help by a nice young African doctor who saw my confusion plus point for the folk at the rear of the hospital. Got me to the main reception area where the funny voiced elderly European was sitting and asked me where I was to be. I responded PET scan, she replied through those doors, minus point as it was the wrong place for the pet scan as it turned out but I should have put my trust in the cleaning chap who asked if he could help me as I stood at the empty reception desk! If I'd accepted his offer then I probably wouldn't have picked up the questionnaire and spent 5 wasted minutes filling it in until the receptionist showed up, asked me my name, couldn't find it on her system and then asked me what I was in for... Pet scan
Nope, back out to the main reception, past the coffee shop hang a right and walk along to the next reception area. There will probably be no one there but just have a seat and someone will turn up!
So, off I went and true to her word, there was no one there but eventually (it wasn't that long really) Jodi a nurse from the trailer, in the car park, without the toilets and who hailed from, shit I've forgotten, rambling again, numpty - I know it was America and it started with a P, but she was nice and took me into a little cubicle to go through the routine when someone popped there head round the corner and said, would you mind terribly if someone from head office sat in while Jodi goes through the procedure, just to see how it all happens. Well I had no objections but asked Jodi if she minded as it was probably a review of her practices, did she really want to be spied on, bless her she didn't mind either.
So through the registration and the sticking of the cannula in the arm which was a baby one, they must have heard about me and my tantrums then a seat for 15 minutes then the injection of the radioactive waste material then the hike in the howling wind for a pee then the hike back in the howling wind in the open car park and then on to the skinny little slider bed thingy before being inserted into the doughnut with me arms above me head and by the time they had finished it I barely managed to get the ******* things back down as they had locked in place and my shoulders were numb, for gawds sake people why can't you just do it with the arms down by the side and then buy a good photo shop editor suite and rub the arms out, I ask you, is it me? Sheesh it feels like you are in there for hours. If I need to go back in I think they are gonna have to handcuff my hands above my head as there is no way that's happening again
Oh and as an aside I woke up this morning feeling as if I had had the best sleep in months and felt great until I had to have me arms above me head for bloody hours sheesh, and no Lesley, my sweet beautiful niece, I didn't even get to turn green like David Banner, nothing ever exciting happens to me not even turning into a radioactive zombie