Book Review: Zombies take Manhattan! by Marina Bridges

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I purchased this book on a whim and because it was recommended by one of my favourite Twitter buddies JW Manus, who also just happens to be the 'Obsessanator' on the subject of ebooks and who coincidentally also happened to be the editor of the book...... Having said all that, while I am a huge fan of George Romero I have yet to actually see any other Zombie movie or TV show that has lived up to the high expectations that he gave to us all those years ago, and, I don't think I have actually read any Zombie literature, prior to this one.  So, all in all it was a leap of faith on my part.....

Was it a leap that ended in an agonising fall, no, not really. It was a leap into the unexpected that left me amused and glad that I had taken the chance.

The book, as you can see from the cover opposite is billed as, 'short stories' by Marina, but I would argue that it is one story and not 5 as billed.  Probably a minor disagreement between me, the author and editor on what is a novel and what is a a collection of short stories.  I suppose in one sense that as the 'story' progressed from it's starting point in Coney Island into the city and Manhattan and then finally back to Coney Island at it's conclusion and that new characters were introduced in 'chapters 1 through three, I would call it a novella and not a collection of shorts, but who am I to argue with the author and the editor?

I suppose, as each 'chapter' had it's own title and was therefore a 'short'  this might explain my one 'big' gripe with the book.    Wheel of Wonder Chapter one takes up 17% of the book, That's almost a quarter of it, and my gripe, well, it was just one long never ending chapter with no natural breaks or pauses to rest.   You just had to keep going and going and going and it almost seemed never ending.  I really don't care how well a book is written or how engaging the story is, you need to have natural breaks, if for no other reason than to rest your eyes, rest your mind, go to the loo, make a cup of coffee and grab a couple of digestive biscuits to dunk in said coffee; but alas there were none.  Same with Chapter 2 , 17% through to 35% no breaks, no pauses, but then we got three in chapter 3 and then no more.......  It may just be me  and I may be the only one to have picked up on this, if so, sorry, but then this is my review and I have to call it as I see it.

But, the story,  I LOVED IT!  It was quirky, it was funny, it was harrowing.

----------------some spoilers----------------

Pitkin an ex NYC Cop now a rent-a-cop on Coney Island finds trouble on his first day as a Zombie outbreak hits the amusement park. After taking refuge in the Wheel of Wonder with two of the parks finest 'attractions' the bearded lady being one it looks as if he might escape the carnage as the wheel keeps sending him up to view the carnage taking place all around.  As the operator is attacked by Zombies and the Wheel is going at a fair lick any blue hue'd Zombies getting in the way are bowled over but weight of numbers begin to tell.

As the outbreak spreads we find ourselves in Times Square   where locals and tourists are soon hemmed in by the Army and the Police and from there on in it is a roller coaster of a ride as a few hardy and disparate locals try and survive the carnage. bringing out the best and worst, as one would expect in these circumstances, in the survivors.

I don't want to give too much away and as I said it is not my usual reading fayre, and apart from my gripe about the breaks I did find it engaging. Pitkin, you wanted to see dying horribly, Chris, sweet Chris well you just want her to survive, I thought about that movie with Edward Norton and the kerb stone and the boot on the back of the neck, oh dear.   T-Bird, needed a slap a really big time slap and Parker you just knew was going to be an anti hero....  Moira, if I was her husband I would have thrown her to the Zombies at the beginning along with 'the baby' Chrissie.....   and as for that tit Steve, well what goes around comes around

This book is so cheap, it is a steal go on get it, you know you want to ...... oh and as a bonus there is a wee short story from Jaye Manus, The devil His Due, tagged on at the end about one of the Devils 'Soul Collectors' that had a twist in the tale which was funny and intriguing , so 'two' books for the price of one.....

Editing for Kindle: 4 out 5
Reading Enjoyment: 3 out of 5 see gripe above
Plot: 5 out of 5
Overall Rating: 5 out of 5
No of Pages: 143
Chapters: 5

Standing in Another Man's Grave: A John Rebus Novel by Ian Rankin

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John Rebus, Inspector of Lothians and Borders Constabulary: Retired.... And we missed him, but Mr Rankin has saw sense and resurrected an old style copper, not one who breaks the rules, but instead bends them back on themselves if it is going to get the right result -  a 20th Century Copper who, some think, has no business in the 21st Century.

On the other hand if you are a reader of crime fiction, Rebus is. exactly what you want! A dog with a bone who won't let go, even if some of the places he ends up; no self respecting dog would want to be seen, especially when The Complaints are breathing down your collar again just waiting for the moment when they can pull the leash tight and hang you out to dry.

DI Rebus is retired but back at Lothian and Borders Police in the SCRU looking into unsolved crimes when he has a chance encounter with the mother of a missing daughter who believes that her daughter is also linked to a number of other disappearances on the A9 trunk road between Perth and Inverness (how I hate that bloody road - well not the road but the politicians who .... another blog post maybe) but none of the Police forces in Scotland have made the connection before.

This is another parent who can't and won't close the book on her daughters disappearance and move on with her life.  Rebus is, as he was in the past, non committal, but takes a look anyway and as it turns out was both bad and good for the mother - never ask for a stone to be upturned if you already know what dirt is underneath it waiting to be uncovered  .........

Is it possible that up to 5 women have been abducted and murdered, and no one has made the connection? Has Scotland got a serial killer, and can a retired dinosaur crack the case?   Rebus is back in the mix with Siobhan Clark, his old Sergeant, now a DI and working out of the station on Gayfield again.  He is up and down that A9 like a yo yo and lo and behold not only is Siobhan back, but so is Rebus's old SAAB but by the sounds of it wearing a lot better than him in semi retirement.

Rankin hasn't lost his touch with Rebus, he is his usual cynical self, but there is an underlying maturity towards Siobhan in not wanting to completely drop her in it, although at times he doesn't always manage this.  The Complaints are on his tail but especially as he still seems to be rather cosy with the Edinburgh bad boy fraternity and there is no convincing them that he is anything but dirty and doesn't belong in a Police station, unless of course he is locked up.....    

He still has issues with his daughter, but .....

This was a great re-introduction to Rebus, and with the retirement age being changed since he left, he has the papers in front of him to get back in, but will he, and, will Rankin take the chance? I for one hope that he does give us more of Rebus, even if he doesn't make it back onto the force and gets a new warrant card.... Welcome Back, John


Editing for Kindle: 5 out 5
Reading Enjoyment: 5 out of 5
Plot: 5 out of 5
Overall Rating: 5 out of 5
No of Pages: 363
Chapters: 69 

It's Christmas, enjoy!

Pre-Christmas health tips for busy people

Before Christmas is a good time to take stock of our lifestyle.
These 9 ½ questions will ensure that will make the right health choices (From a Japanese Doctor who appears an expert).


Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong
life. Is this true?

A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste
on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make
you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving
faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.


Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Fruit very good. Brandy distilled
wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more
of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Grain good too. Bottom
up!


Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one.
If you have two body, your ratio two to one.



Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
exercise program?

A: Can't think of one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain...good!


Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting
more vegetable be bad?


Q : Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around
the middle?

A: Oh no! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only
be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.


Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best
feel-good food around!


Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.


Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!


Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have
had about food and diets.


And remember:

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to
skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other -
body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what
a ride!!"


AND.....


For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on
nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those
conflicting nutritional studies.


1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks
than Brits.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks
than Brits.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart
attacks than Brits.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart
attacks than Brits.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and
fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.


CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is
apparently what kills you



Merry Christmas

*******************************************************

50 shades of ...

For Julia, Penny and Jaye as they 'loved the original so much..........


My missus bought a paperback
In Asda/Walmart Saturday,
I had a look inside the bag
T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey"
Well I just left her to it, see,
And went off up to bed
An hour later, she appeared
Oh the sight filled me with dread!
In her hand she held a rope
The other, held a whip!
She brandished them around a bit
And then began to strip?.
Well forty years or so, ago,
I might have had a peek
But Doris hasn't weathered well
She's sixty-eight next week.
Watching Doris bump and grind
Couldn't be much grimmer?
And things progressed from bad to worse
She toppled off her Zimmer !
She struggled back up to her feet,
A good half hour later,
Put her teeth back in and said
That I must dominate her !!!
Now if you knew our Doris, see,
You'd know just why I cringed.
I'd been two months in traction, cos
My hips and knees unhinged.
She stood there nude. All naked, like,
Bent forward quite a bit?. and
Jumping back in fright I went
And stood on her left tit.
Doris screamed, her teeth shot out,
My word. What HAD I done ?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out
"Step on the OTHER one !!!"
Well reader, I can tell no more
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say, my dark brown hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey.
Black and blue, battered too,
With wanton, wild perversion,
We decided that a night of sin
Was scarce worth such exertion.
Thank Heavens she has binned the book
And peace reigns, like before.
She's head to toe in winceyette
And back to back, we snore???...

courtesy of Tony Watkins