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Thursday 3 January 2013

Memories of a guilty past!

I saw this image on my screen this morning and for some inexplicable reason it took me back to my childhood, or at least a guilty little part of growing up, as a boy.....

Home shopping catalogues..... Kays, Grattans, Freemans, Littlewoods, used to be a big thing in the UK where you could buy the unaffordable at 'affordable' prices and not only that, but spread the cost, if only we all had the sense to see that the affordable came with such a high price tag in terms of inflated costs and interest charges, which the peasants who used this medium for shopping back then didn't have a clue about, and largely they still don't today.

But the cost of things wasn't my guilty secret, yes the toy section was a big draw for me as a kid but as I got that little bit older and girls started to figure in my life, the biggest draw for me in the shiny glossy pages of these catalogues was the ladies - underwear section - there it is, it's out there I was a kid who perved over glossy photos of half naked women, I admit it .. and here is the photo that sent me back all those years:



it was taken from this article on the AOL home page entitled 'super-flattering shapewear' and I do have to admit for some unknown reason it took me right back to those days in the 60's when I ogled all those women in their knickers and bras when no one else was about.  Ah memories and go on all you amateur psychologists  start analysis , now ..... but if it makes me look any better I did move on to the likes of

Fiesta, Hustler, Knave, Mayfair (my favourite), OUI *, Penthouse, Playboy

and instead of looking at half naked women I was looking at the 'real deal' Ah memories,  in fact although I had a guilty little blush at the memory I do recall a short conversation with Ishbel's mother in the 70's.

We were in Berlin at the time and I was courting Ishbel.  They were heading off to the American Sector to do some shopping in the US PX, the equivalent, but much better than our own forces NAAFI  stores.  Anyway Ishbels mother asked me if there was anything I wanted and I said, 'yes, can you get me an ooie*'. With a look of complete puzzlement she replied, 'what on earth is an ooie?' 

I replied , with no shame, bearing in mind here I am as a 17 year old dating her 15 year old daughter (still an idiot now) asking her to get me an ooie - 'It's a magazine'  I said. ' What kind of magazine' she asked. 'Just a magazine' said I, not thinking that if and when she discovered it she would see exactly what kind of magazine, probably drop the shopping, come home and boot me out of the flat and tell me never to darken their doorstep again...... But and anyway after a few moments she asked, 'how do you spell it'. 'That's easy' says I, 'OUI' 

' We' says she. 'What' says I. 'No, you idiot' says she. 'We, that is how it is pronounced, O U I, it's French for yes, pronounced WE' I remember the look of despair on her face but I can't remember if she actually bought me the damn thing 

Memories........

11 comments:

  1. Ah, what an impression you made! Yet you did marry her daughter!

    Sort of like my son's youthful fascination with Victoria's Secret catalogs.

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    1. Yep, and she has been stuck with me ever since, bless her

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  2. Replies
    1. Hey, Slime, you don't mind if I call you that do you? Thanks for dropping in, glad I brought some humour into one persons life my wife tells me I never make a comedian and should never give up my day job, but I suspect that's more to do with the fact that she Would then have to go out and earn a crust.... Drop in anytime xx

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  3. Okay, Tom, after such a mistake, your future mother-in-law certainly must have seen your good heart and extreme worth...or "Ooie" would have ended the whole thing.

    This post still has me smiling. It's such a universal story with adorable personal touches. It's going to be flagged on my blog. Can you imagine the "names" she called you in her mind!!!! You're amazing, Tom, you really are.

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    1. Marylin, as always, so gracious and I'll bet you are right, this would have been a pastime for many 'boys' and probably still is today, we never change

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  4. You weren't the only one to do this with the catalogues. You, me and every adolescent male has done this I'm sure.

    Mayfair was also my favourite when I grew out of catalogues :-)

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    1. Toby, yeah, I'm sure we weren't the only two and I really don't think I feel that guilty about it at all.......

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  5. That was fantastic. Such a strong finish. I will never be able to say "yes" in French correctly again.

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  6. Brian, I never got that magazine again! Xxx

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  7. Oh, and Brian, my French still hasn't improved. The ladies in the lingerie dept of Paris's largest dpt. store will testify to that when a couple of years back while shopping with Ishbel they were literally giggling out loud at my attempts to discuss the merits of lace underwear with them, but I try, even if it means taking muppetry to new heights.....

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