Port De Soller Mallorca

Port De Soller Mallorca

Tuesday, 27 March 2012

Did I tell you I Hate Pigeons! But are they afraid of being turned into Zombies?

No, not the kind that turn up on the dinner plate that live in the country and are nice little pigeons,  but the common town/city dwelling feral rat like creature that inhabits our towns and cities and where the idiot masses feed them leading to them congregating and breeding in even greater numbers.....

In my humdrum day to day existence I look after a small parade of shops and offices for a large property company and one of the bane's of my life is pigeons and the mess they leave behind.

It was only recently as well that I learned from an expert that pigeons are prolific breeders and are at it constantly, sex for reproduction.  Apparently they are ready to breed from a few weeks after hatching and then that's it eat, shit, sex,, lay an egg or two and start again.

They dominate the roofs and it doesn't help that a local pub closed down a couple of years ago bordering our property and the owners have left it to become run-down and derelict and this is where a large proportion of the local pigeons have taken up squatters rights.

Now a few years ago the anti smoking ban was introduced in this country but being the ass that I am, that while I enforced it throughout the offices, my office remained an illegal smoking zone, until two weeks ago that is.  I had the dreaded lurgy that was going around and didn't smoke for three days........  Okay go on get it off your chests I can here the moans and groans from here, I'll continue when your finished .....

Okay, ready....

So, anyway having given up for three days I went back to work on the forth day and my office had sort of been fumigated by the cleaners and smelled quite fresh, so I have decided to not smoke in the office and obey the law.  So, I have now taken to joining the other peasants outside and while on the outside having my fag I look up and see the pigeons and the seagulls on all the roofs.

But what I have noticed over the last week is that there is a pigeon free roost area and not just pigeons, but the gulls and other birds in the area seem to avoid one point on the roof, as if it were plague infected or as if there was a hawk perched there and they aint going near it for love nor money and it is the spot on the roof with all the mobile phone masts and antenna!  Is it going to turn them into pigeon zombies if they get to close?

So, all those Mums protesting about the proposed erection of mobile masts near to homes or schools, maybe they have a point!  Is this equipment sending out harmful radiation or whatever and birds are attuned to it, more investigation needed I think on this and in the meantime a call to the man with the pigeon traps for the roofs to try and reduce the numbers again.......


  1. Pigeons will the the last survivors, I'm convinced of it.
    Actually, maybe zombies' worst fear is that they'll be bitten (or splattered on) and will become pigeons AND zombies. Talk about an awful way to go!

  2. Here in the States, we keep pigeons away by putting fake hawks on our roof. Or fake owls. Works for a while at least.
    Real hawks work even better!
    Yeah, pigeons and ticks. Can't imagine why somebody thought they were a good idea. But I hate ticks way more.

  3. Hi Marylin,

    Thanks for looking in. I think you are probably right. We just need to hone our sharp shooting skills to take them out

  4. Ah! Julia,

    I use a man with a real Hawk, but it only chases them away for a day or two. We catch them in cages, but get bleeding hearts phoning the RSPCA to complain we are mistreating them, then they complain about the cost of the service charge and cleaning the shit of the buildings.

    I want to shoot the pigeons and the MORONS......


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