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RETIRED
As I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world, I rapidly realized that I don't really give a rat's ring. It's the tortoise life for me soon!
1. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.
2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, and still it is fat.
3. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years.
4. A tortoise doesn't run and does nothing, yet it lives for 450 years.
And you tell me to exercise? I don't think so. I'm retired. Go around me.
Some Senior Thoughts
God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered:
1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and all-bran.
3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.
4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
5. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
6. If all is not lost, where is it?
7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
8. Some days, you're the pigeon; some days you're the statue.
9. I wish the buck stopped here; I could use a few.
10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
13. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.
14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.
15. When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone want to play chess?
16. Its not hard to meet expenses . . . they're everywhere.
17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter... I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm hereafter.
19. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
20. I'M UNABLE TO REMEMBER WHETHER I'VE SENT YOU THIS BEFORE...
Via Tony Watkins
2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and all-bran.
3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.
4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
5. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
6. If all is not lost, where is it?
7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
8. Some days, you're the pigeon; some days you're the statue.
9. I wish the buck stopped here; I could use a few.
10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
13. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.
14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.
15. When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone want to play chess?
16. Its not hard to meet expenses . . . they're everywhere.
17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter... I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm hereafter.
19. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.
20. I'M UNABLE TO REMEMBER WHETHER I'VE SENT YOU THIS BEFORE...
Via Tony Watkins
And when you're 90? You'll look back fondly on these days. I do like the tortoise analogy! Very true.
ReplyDeleteYes Jules, I often use the tortoise one when I am being encouraged to exercise! And when you are 90 you will climb a mountain and then forget to come back down LoL xx
ReplyDeleteThat's the plan, Tom. Climbing Everest.
ReplyDeleteHa! This post made me smile. Thank you. :D
ReplyDeleteDenise, if I have achieved making someone smile, then I am happy. Thanks for dropping in ...
ReplyDeleteOh, but you are going to love retirement, Tom. But I'll warn you, within a few months you'll have added something that has needed to be done for awhile, then something you've wanted to do for a long time, then a cause that you believe in that needs your help, and so on and so forth.
ReplyDeleteYou'll realize you're still setting the alarm clock for important things, and staying up late with friends and family and grandchildren and doing your blog and writing...and, whew! Soon you're busier than ever, but at least it's by your choice and your decision.
It's all good. It really is. And you'll live as long as you live. Period.
Ah Marylin, if only I was and if only I had the cash to support it, I probably would .....
ReplyDelete