I will Not F*^&$*^ Smile

I was clearing out my emails today and came across this sequence from 2010 and thought I would share:

I received this from a colleague in a weak attempt to make me smile

-----Original Message-----
From: Paul K
To: Tom Stronach
Sent: Wed, 21 Apr 2010 8:53
Subject: smile

 

Did I read the sign right?

In an office:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER...... PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR


Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE , BUT THE BULL CHARGES.


On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle). We all need a good laugh, keep on smiling

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


I was in my usual -in the f*&^%*& office - mood and sent this reply

From: tom stronach
Sent: 21 April 2010 09:30
To: Paul K
Subject: Re: smile

 

Do you bloody mind.....

 

I most certainly WILL NOT f*****G smile 

 

I have invested a lot of time and effort in mastering the art of the scowl, grimace and general unpleasantness that comes with working in P..... for L..  and NB and this general attack by L.. Management on my whole attitude of generally being a bit of a miserable bastard will be ignored and we would be pleased if you would refrain from further unsolicited attacks or the attempted undermining of our generally accepted belligerent demeanour 

 

So, F**k Off..............................

 

and finally received this reply - it's good when people remember what my job description entails

-----Original Message-----
From: Paul K 
To: Tom Stronach - 
Sent: Wed, 21 Apr 2010 11:48
Subject: RE: smile

Hi Tom, pleased to note (and apologies for forgetting the requirement in your job description) your curmudgeonly attitude prevails, and that you remain a fully paid up member (with a potential nomination for grand poobar) of the P.....  chapter of the Grumpy Old Farts brigade ….

S#d off then…..