Mr Fat: An Update

So, Sunday 1st September and I woke up feeling like a new man today... I have no idea why,still have cancer, still have a 30 odd centimetre tumour growing from my oesophagus downwards to gawd knows where, and I was taken off the chemo two weeks ago as it was making me terribly ill and giving me particularly dark thoughts.

I don't think I would ever have ended it but I do have to confess the footbridge across the M25 close to us was looking particularly inviting but then I would have had to call myself all kinds of names and used extreme profanity in a self loathing description for causing havoc to the road users who suffer every day on that parking lot approaching the Dartford crossing!

I thought that as soon as I came off the chemo that I would start to feel much better but alas not. And I seemed to just get worse as the last two weeks progressed. I felt not too bad yesterday morning, last day of summer, managing a trip to the supermarket with Ishbel but from the moment we got back home I really did feel like a luke warm cadaver ready to be picked over by a committee of vultures. I couldn't even manage to take Ishbel to work later who had been asked to do some overtime. In fact she says she said goodbye to me and that I was wide awake when she gave me a kiss and a cuddle but I couldn't even remember any of that either.....

Today, a complete volte face if you like I feel absolutely marvellous and it may well be just a short lived hiatus, the chemo may now be out of my system and I am patiently awaiting the next phase, having had a CAT scan during the week, hopefully ahead of surgery, which I am hoping will be in the next few weeks if not sooner and then no doubt back on the chemo. So, I am going to make the best of today with Ishbel's warnings ringing in my ears to not be a tit and not to start rushing about today doing all the jobs I have been ignoring, the garden, stripping the hall and stair paperwork that Steve my defacto son-in-law started a couple of weeks ago and generally tidying up although I have managed to keep on top of the ironing ......

What I haven't managed to do is any reading, although I have pre ordered the next Kydd novel CARIBEE from the wonderful Julian Stockwin and the next in the series from Bernard Cornwell in the Uhtred, The Pagan Lord, as he serves the Kings of Wessex and tries to retake Bebbanburg in the North, so looking forward to them. Nor have I managed to keep up with all my friends blogs and posts or to engage on Twitter so apologies to my friend for all that but if I 'go dark' again don't worry too much as I am and always will be, a Survivor......

And then, I started this, which I think may have been a bad idea but got to press on now ....

Keep smiling :-))))