Port De Soller Mallorca

Port De Soller Mallorca

Wednesday, 20 July 2011

Mr Fat and the Exerciser

I can and do recommend the use of equipment to help with exercise and as an aid to lose weight and keep fit, but if like me, you are so unfit and so fat that you have actually lost the ability to run, yes I said it, I lost the ability to run! You saw in another of my blogs where I mentioned that I was a good runner, I was and I thoroughly enjoyed it.  When in the Army [well in my day at least] they used to do an annual BFT, Battle Fitness Test, where you had to run with back pack rifle and ammo for 10 miles, do a 100 yards fireman's lift dash, six or so obstacles on the obstacle course and finish with a 100 yard sprint to the firing line and then 10 rounds into the target.  Now even if you managed the run, fireman's lift, obstacle course, but then missed the target, you failed and had to do it all again, I never missed, and I loved all of that kind of training, but I was young and handsome, or so I told myself, and I even used to do my own running out with normal training as well because I loved it that much.

But, since becoming Mr Fat, trying to run is probably the most ludicrous looking thing that anyone watching has had the misfortune to witness.  I mean, wads of fat rippling under my clothing like a water bed being used by kids as a trampoline, and that was only after two paces.  Then realising, after two paces that the actions required by the body to actually run, and that are inbuilt in most of the human species,  have somehow and mysteriously been removed from your genetic make up you grind to a quivering stop, not a full stop you understand because even although you only managed about two or three paces before coming to the conclusion, well that's not true actually, YOU don't come to a conclusion or even a realisation, no it's not quite as simple as that.  What actually happens is that you, as a fat person begin to lose a little bit of weight and in the course of doing this you even begin to not wheeze as much as you did last month.  Your joints are only slightly less painful than they were a month ago at every movement and so you begin to think, 'Hey, were there, we're fit again, I could even pull a bird, if I weren't married of course, (you know that's me just day dreaming Ish, don't you?) and you go on to think there's no way I can run a marathon, but I could probably manage a jog round the long pond http://maps.google.co.uk/maps?q=51.514062,0.267756&ll=51.514805,0.268135&spn=0.014822,0.035191&sll=51.514209,0.268146&sspn=0.013889,0.032015&num=1&z=15&iwloc=near 

Well, having the thought and carrying through are two completely different things altogether.  So there I was, having outgrown all of my shorts I was dressed in a pair of casual slacks, polo neck T shirt and trainers.  As an aside here I thought I needed new footwear because my feet were growing, but as I have lost weight my footwear has become comfortable again, so, another plus there as well.

Anyway dressed and ready to run, I think that's where we were.  So a slow walk along Hamble Lane and into the woods at the top  and I am ready to try, for the first time in oh, probably 15 years a short run.  Don't get me wrong here I knew that there was no way I as going to manage a run around the pond, but I did seriously think at least a couple if not at least a hundred yards and then maybe a walk for 5 minutes to recover and then maybe another short burst.  Well burst my bubble as well as my gut was more the picture that was painted.  There I was, I even remembered to do a couple of stretches , although for me that doesn't amount to much, and I do need to be careful when bending over in case I rip the bum out of another pair of slacks, has happened but that's what being fat brings you, anyway stretches, did a couple and thought, here we go, and off I went.

Well, as I say two or three paces and that was it gut bouncing up and chest hitting my chin, I'm sure that's why I had to get a new crown recently, and then rolling back down all the way to my ankles and you come to a shuddering stop, but it is a stop that is not a full stop but more of a fool stop, if you know what I mean.  I was standing there hands on hips, with elbows out , and I think that was my sub concious brain saying, 'hands on hips, elbows out and we might get a bit of balance here stop this fool from toppling over', some forest creatures might have been underneath me and in imminent danger of being crushed, and while he wheezes himself back to normality, well fatty normality at any rate, lets at least try and keep him in the upright position.  With hindsight you know, about two hundred yard into that walk there is a bench, and what I should have done was not started my attempt until I was in close proximity to that, but in the word of our beloved Prime Minister earlier today, 'We don't make decisions in hindsight, we make them in the now'. Yes, well I bet like me he wishes that hindsight was not as mythical as it is, but there you go.

I do have to confess that was a couple of months ago, and apart from about a 10 yard run in the park with the grand kids, which I also have to report did not leave me winded, I have not tried to repeat that little episode and I think I am going to wait until I am down to about 18 stone, 252 lbs American, before having another attempt, so a while to go yet.....

 Anyway  Mr Fat and the Exerciser, I was having a conversation with a colleague this morning just talking about my ongoing weight loss and exercise regime.  Now this colleague who shall remain nameless is of similar height and [my current] weight to myself and is generally in good health other than a sinus problem he has been suffering on and off for a few years. Oh, and he brought a bacon roll to the office for me, but I don't mind, cos it's a treat and it was mid morning, so I just cut out lunch instead, but he's a little devil isn't he....

It would seem that on reading my blogs and on conversations we have had, that he too has decided to also try and get a little bit fitter, but, like me, wants to do it without going on a faddy diet.  I again explained to him that that I continue to lose the odd ounce here , put it back on and then lose it again, but overall I am still on a downward curve, and this is all due to the fact that instead of sitting in front of the telly, after having my evening meal, I am getting out and going for my constitutional, every day.  I am also back in a car, but I am still doing the walks.  I continue to walk to the shops for the odd thing that we may need, rather than driving, even when raining.  I work on the third floor of an office, fourth from the ground, and would normally use the lift [elevator] to go up and then walk down the stairs,  since I got back in the car, I only use the stairs, and all of this allows me to keep getting fitter, while still eating normally.

Breakfast, All grilled, apart from the eggs done in
the tiniest bit of Olive oil  and as a treat!
My diet consists of the usual, lots of meat and veg, fruits and salads.  It is varied and I believe healthy and I do indulge in the odd choccy bar and biscuit, well I can't be anti social while Ishbel Hoovers  up hers, now can I?

Anyway, Mr Fat and the Exerciser, what's that all about. Well in having our chat my colleague informed me they have an exercise bike and that they were thinking of getting it out, dusting it down and giving it a go.  This got me to thinking about our 'exerciser'.  It is called a lateral thigh trainer we purchased it about six or seven years ago from the telly, as both of us wanted to try and get a little fitter.  Let's be clear about this my weight problems, as they are for many people, are and were completely self inflicted, and I do mean self inflicted, like a self inflicted wound or injury where what you have done or are doing is absolutely doing you no good and is damaging to your overall well being.  Well, sitting in an office all day and then going home, having your supper and sitting staring at the telly all night until you go to bed, and then repeating that every day, is going to have serious consequences on your health.  We have seen that with the content of my two previous blogs, and it was no good.

So, picture it, you get home you have supper and you stare at the telly, boring and unhealthy, yes it is take my word for it.  So, you buy the 'exerciser' set it up and start using it in the sitting room in front of the telly, but do you know what, you soon get bored with it, yes I know difficult to believe, but you do become bored with it, so what do you do, you stick it under the stairs where it gathers dust and you have just wasted £90.00 and go back to sitting, bored in front of the telly.

Crazy, I know but no crazier than sinking deeper and deeper into the sofa while sinking deeper and deeper into your own fat and the furniture.

Discarded Exerciser in
 someone's front yard
But I know better now, it wasn't the fact that I was bored, well I was, but the real reason was of course motivation.  The 'exerciser' is back in use and there is absolutely no doubt that it does work.  How do I know this? Well, there are two reasons why I know it works. 1. Is that it bloody hurts if you actually spend any amount of time on it, and if it hurts, it must be working, right? And 2. when I do use it over a couple of consecutive days, I actually do notice that I do lose a couple of pounds much quicker than I do if just walking.  And during my walk tonight I saw this discarded exercise bike in someone's front yard.  I seriously thought of going and knocking on the door, and asking if they have lost their motivation, |just as I am seriously considering talking to my GP [doctor] about maybe setting up a walking group for her patients in the village we live in, where we can meet up at the surgery and then head off each night for a serious hours walking.  Mind you I don't know if I will, I am becoming addicted to this losing weight/ getting fitter lark, but I don' want to be a slave to it.  I really am quite content mullering along  each day/night with my headphones in listening to the radio or to music I have downloaded, whether it is pop or classical, or blues or country, or Jazz or dance, it gets me going and if I am in a group I might not be able to do that, so for now I think I will continue to be selfish and keep doing my own thing!

Roasted chicken herb parcels with
roasted veggies
So the moral of this tale is if you want to lose weight and get fit you really need to be motivated to do it.  Buying fancy equipment, whether it is an exercise bike or as in our case a lateral trainer, is all well and good, but, as happened with us and clearly with my colleague, there was no motivation as they both ended up just gathering dust and the only thing we lost was the money we spent on purchasing them in the first place.

So, motivation is the answer, YOU REALLY DO NEED TO BE MOTIVATED to get fit and lose weight and I would suggest that you find that motivation before you even think about wasting money, time or energy on any equipment.  Get out there and walk before you can run. Join a group,do it on your own or even with your partner, Ishbel comes walking with me and although I am taller she has longer legs, and while it is nice to have her there with me she does tend to forget, half way through the walk, and I end up like a kid, you know you've all seen it before with the parent walking along and the kid trotting /walking / trotting , a few paces behind trying to keep up, but at least it does also give me a good cardio vascular workout when she does come but I am a little bit glad it is not every time xxxx

Best Wishes 

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